care more than some think is wise; risk more than some think is safe;
dream more than some think is practical; expect more than some think is possible



I have been thinking of what all is said in Derek Webb's song Wedding Dress. I think he has hit the nail as square on the head as possible. I am the whore in the song ...

if you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
should that be all i’ll ever need
or is there more i’m looking for

and should i read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
to make me handsome, rich, and wise
is that really what you want

i am a whore i do confess 
but i put you on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i’m a prodigal with no way home
but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you

so could you love this bastard child
though i don’t trust you to provide
with one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side
i am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers less wild
that i would take a little cash 
over your very flesh and blood

i am a whore i do confess 
but i put you on just like a wedding dress
and i run down the aisle
i’m a prodigal with no way home
but i put you on just like a ring of gold
and i run down the aisle to you

because money cannot buy
a husband’s jealous eye
when you have knowingly deceived his wife

And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the LORD, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. ... 

You have played the whore with many lovers; and would you return to me? declares the LORD. ... 

Thus they became unclean by their acts, and played the whore in their deeds. ...

Therefore the showers have been withheld, and the spring rain has not come; yet you have the forehead of a whore; you refuse to be ashamed.  ... 

Oh to God - Renew a right spirit within me ...!


wide angle ...

i love panoramic pictures ... they provide for some of the best & most beautiful perspectives ... so here are a few of my own. enjoy


socialism ... its my favorite!


Need I say more? I don't think so. And if you are by some chance an Obama supporter, this may
enrage you ... or you may not care what I think (which is probably a wiser decision) ... anyway.
I have kept up pretty well with this presidential election. And as it turns out, it is very nice to be informed and up to date, to know what all is going on and what all is being said. And from all that I hear and read leads me to strongly say, I cant stand Obama. I think he is a sly, sneaky liar. That's how I feel about him. I don't think he is a straight shooter and I think he has radical plans for our nation if he is elected (and trust me, I don't think McCain is necessarily a straight shooter either, but I do trust him to some degree). Anyways ... this is primarily to address all these associations we keep hearing about.

Rev. Wright (is that how you that guy's name?) - we know about him, that this guy is a lunatic and a fanatic, strongly anti-America and anti-white .... he is offensive and in my own opinion needs to be shut up from his pulpit. he is not a christian minister, because any true Christan minister can tell you that Christ's message is not one of hate, but rather of forgiveness and new life! No more needs to be said about this idiot. I cant stand him. I cant help but think how Obama's thoughts have probably been shaped by this idiot's teachings all his life ... or as long as he has gone to that place to hear this garbage

Ayers - now this guy, WOW! A domestic terrorist? you have got to be kidding me, how can Obama even begin to associate with someone who is even remotely tied to Ayers? Much less Ayers himself ... an arrogant, unrepentant, and unpunished terrorist ... the only thing that separated him from the likes of Osama is skin color. he is just as radical and outrageous and absurd as Osama .... for anyone who would bomb innocent people must be all those thing? So, again I ask, Obama, how would you ever consider not dissociating from this man, this lunatic?

Lastly, and what I just heard today - Kahlidi (sp?) - this guy was at some point in time an advisor to Arafat! And the talk is that Obama toasted him as he left whatever position he had in Chicago as he left for NYC. He is anti-Israel and super pro-Palestine. He is connected to the PLO, Palestinian Liberation Organization, a former foreign terrorist group. The guy who has the video at the LA Times has not and says he will not release the video of Obama, Kahlidi and the other people at this gathering ... that took place in 2003!!!

Call it a slippery slope or whatever you want ... but has anyone else thought that maybe Obama is too closely related with sketchy characters and maybe his background is questionable??? Anyone? Does he have ties to terrorist organizations .... and I submit that question to be seriously taken!
I even recently heard, from a maybe or maybe not so reliable source that there is no record of Obama's birth certificate?! This is outrageous and unbelievable! Who is he and where is he from and how, HOW ON EARTH IS HE, AS IT APPEARS, WINNING THE ELECTION CURRENTLY??? I cant believe this.

Lastly, lets consider his now infamous comment about the "redistribution of wealth" he made to Joe the Plumber. A guess all that needs to be said in light of this is that its roots are extremely socialistic. And plus, explain why the Obama camp reacted the way they did to the reporters hard questioning, quoting a Marx quote and asking Biden how Obama's plan is different from what Marx stood for! They canceled all future interviews with that local news program. Not to mention Biden acted like a royal moron!

Socialism? No thank you. I am voting for McCain ... even if he is old!

I am just saying ....



some things in life just need to be taken in ... actually a lot of things in life just need simply be enjoyed and looked upon with deep, soul moving admiration! one of those things in life is the Appalachian Trail (AT).

its amazing.
first just consider that is more than 2,100 miles long!
second consider the amount of wildlife and plant life the whole trail encompasses.

thirdly, to just sit down on a cliff overlooking the seemingly forever ongoing north georgia mountains running away in the distance ... on and on.

i love the mountains! I cant get enough of them. I wish the woods were my home! the woods make my soul come alive. its the inherent man in me being awakened by the bone chilling breeze, by the thigh busting climbs, by the sway and rustle of trees, by the smell of a campfire, by the quiet solitude, by the thoughts and wanderings of a hiking soul!



if I had to label myself having any one spiritual gift, it would be mercy & compassion. sure, maybe I don't always come across this way due to my sarcastic nature, but I am actually a softy at heart.

I am moved by people in need, the homeless sleeping in a box, the poor with no hope, thirsty people, hungry people, hurting people, hopeless people. I think everyone is moved by people like this, but much like what I described in my last post ... the deep stirred emotions and heartache that the trials in my family have birthed within my soul ... hurting people (as a general category) make me feel and my heart long and ache in a similar fashion. I guess its best described as the spiritual gift of mercy. I hate unjust hurting, or unmerited difficulties ... but that is life! yet, its also a call for action, motivation, & actually doing something about all the hurting men and women and children, and most importantly souls around me. I also think this is a manifestation of Christ's love in the heart of men who belong to him, at least for those whose gift is mercy or compassion. I think Christ's love is the only source of love for a person I don't know.

these thoughts and feelings have been triggered by two sources, recently ... two music videos from vh1. thanks vh1! the song what about now and the song watch over you, the former by Daughtry (sp?) and the latter be Alterbridge, I believe. they spur deeply wrought feelings in my being! the former song, is about humanitarian efforts around the globe or environmentally friendly efforts in different spheres of life and talking about being one person who seeks to change his world ... I take this to mean the world that person is in contact with on a daily basis, b/c there are hurting people all around us. the second song is basically about what happens to a druggie when his support is gone. but all throughout the video are crying hurting addicts who are in rehab and facing the reality of their helpless state. the faces and the tears move me to want to help. to bring the hope of the gospel to all the empty lives of Hollywood and the surrounding similar roles of life (ie - music, rich young hotshots, etc.... all the spotlight people).

i am grateful for the feelings these videos have ignited. its refreshing and encouraging to think of others for a change. its motivating to know I can, by Christ in me, be a source of comfort, love, and change. Christ is the healer, he heals the down trodden, and he uses his children to care and heal these hurting souls.

I want to be the hands and feet of change!


high seas and dark skies

there are times in life when things simply suck. sometimes situations arise and there is no other way to label them other than sucking! some people don't like the word suck, but I do. it gets the point across and makes clear what I mean.

and right now there are some things going on in my family that just straight up suck. no one has done anything wrong, and no one is doing anything that any of my family members or I would detest, there are just some things going on that suck. and they suck bad, really bad. they are making everyone's life hard. its all harder for my dad, mom and little brother mark mainly because they are all together at home in Bham, while Bub and I are no longer living at home. So things suck for us all, but especially for dad, mom and mark. I wish I could make it not be so difficult for them. I wish I could do something, but I feel somewhat helpless and unable to help ... they are two different things.

sucky situations are never fun, and they are always hard ... but sometimes they just shake you to the core and make you realize what matters. last night, all that is going on in my family kind of snuck up on me and surprised me. that's not to say I didn't know things were already bad, because they have been difficult for some length of time now, but after a conversation with my mom I realized just how hard things are at home. How hard they are for the three of them, and for them as individuals! I made me think, and ponder, it provoked anger and love, action and compassion, sympathy and determination. then it hit me, all these feelings i just listed, are feelings you can only truly have toward people you love - be they friends or family! and when I say you can only feel this way, i mean really really feel these things deep down inside ... its as if a revolution of love took over and called something from deep inside me to be stirred because those who mean the most to me are hurting the most I have ever witnessed! this is what i mean when I say I felt the above list of emotion or reactions!

its also occurred to me that maybe this - plus a whole heapin' load more - is what Christ felt when he was summoned by the Father to serve us as a ransom for our sin on earth, its a love that spurred action and a hard pressed face to the wind mindset! it makes me grateful to him!
also I've thought of how even in the darkest of hours the Lord promises his provision! my first thoughts were of this passage (and song):

But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ... Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, ... Fear not, for I am with you; ... whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." ... declares the LORD, "and I am God. Also henceforth I am he; there is none who can deliver from my hand; I work, and who can turn it back?" Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel ... "I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King." Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings forth chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick: ... "I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise ... I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. (selections of Ish 43)

surely this is the One and only who truly can deliver, and surely the high seas and dark skies of life are no challenge for him whose work cannot be undone!



We like analogies.
They're clever, and quirky.

They aid in understanding and can at times be quite funny. Sometimes they're serious and require straight faces and no talking. Others may be sad and make us simply think about the meaning, value, and estates of life.

But there seem to be some of which are spoke of all too often. In the Christian realm of life, some of those might be being hungry, thirsty ... or the desert, a cold heart, or hard heart! But the crazy thing is, as often as these little relationships are thrown around, they work. They always work. They convey what we want to say, but aren't sure how to without talking our heads off or writing 'til our hands break.

Maybe these 'Christian' ones are given to us for a purpose. Maybe its so we can identify with others when they say, "Man, I am really feeling cold at heart toward God. ..." Maybe its so we can say what we want precisely, to make a point. Maybe, just maybe its so we can be made aware of our own current spiritual state. I don't know, those are just ideas?

The desert analogy is the one I seem to return to all too often. Its associated with statements like, "I feel like God is so far away, its like I am in a desert land without communion with Him." or "I don't know how long I can take being in the spiritual desert, I feel as if my life is just wasting away!" These are by no way true, but they convey what I mean.

I guess, this is a time to vent or confess or whatever ... and I know I need to do this with the Lord, and I will ... but I have been in this so called desert land for months, quite literally. That's not to say I haven't prayed, or seen God work in my life, it simply means I am just very insensitive and hard at heart to what the Lord may be doing, or wanting to do in my life for His sake. I want to be close and feel His heart beat as I walk around campus, I want to be motivated in the means of grace, I want to want God! But, if the truth be told, there is no true motivation there. There is no real substance ... and I don't know that anything suddenly changed to bring this time about, it seems as if it just happened.

I have rationalized it for sometime, saying oh its just a season, a passing thing! What, though, if its not. What if for some reason pursuing the Lord remains this hard, am I simply going to relax and give in? No! I love God and I love Him cause He loves me, I just don't feel very much right now and I don't know exactly why.

Man, I wish there were a good analogy to describe how I wish I felt! How I wish I were!



the object
it sits
no moving
no talking
only sitting

it flows all alone
it moves the soul
and carries the eye

the object
what is it
an ol' piece o'
dried, rotting wood


the loneliest island

the waves break and the wind howls, yet again a storm brews ... dark thunder clouds laugh, a shrill hiss of cruel intentions, as they poke an' prod with those electric fingers, at the palms swaying and dancing

the sand swirls and the fronds flap, as the cold sea spits across the wave break ... the inhabitants creaking, crying for the sweet release of a calmed tempest

breaking and crashing violently, the swells ceaselessly beat and storm against the jagged, rocky faces ... slowly being eaten away with the brutal slapping of water

the clouds grimace and the moon hides her light, abandoning the nightly routine ... teasing with splotchy glimpses, as the light slips in an' out, creating leafy shadow dancers

a man sits, elbows on knees and head hanging down ... ragged and tattered ... whats the meaning, what will he do and where to turn ... hair hangs greasy across his brow, and eyes tired and red, face streaked and feet now damp ... he looks up, in desperation crying out ... waiting for an answer, a whisper in the wind ... wheres the peace, the rest? ... could he have fallen so far, so far from his dreams and hopes? ... so alienated, so alone ... a man, just a shell now empty and drifting away from all that once was so clear, so well known ... when the moment fades, there's nothing left ... only the vague hint of where one man once sat in sand ... he has become the loneliest