high seas and dark skies

there are times in life when things simply suck. sometimes situations arise and there is no other way to label them other than sucking! some people don't like the word suck, but I do. it gets the point across and makes clear what I mean.

and right now there are some things going on in my family that just straight up suck. no one has done anything wrong, and no one is doing anything that any of my family members or I would detest, there are just some things going on that suck. and they suck bad, really bad. they are making everyone's life hard. its all harder for my dad, mom and little brother mark mainly because they are all together at home in Bham, while Bub and I are no longer living at home. So things suck for us all, but especially for dad, mom and mark. I wish I could make it not be so difficult for them. I wish I could do something, but I feel somewhat helpless and unable to help ... they are two different things.

sucky situations are never fun, and they are always hard ... but sometimes they just shake you to the core and make you realize what matters. last night, all that is going on in my family kind of snuck up on me and surprised me. that's not to say I didn't know things were already bad, because they have been difficult for some length of time now, but after a conversation with my mom I realized just how hard things are at home. How hard they are for the three of them, and for them as individuals! I made me think, and ponder, it provoked anger and love, action and compassion, sympathy and determination. then it hit me, all these feelings i just listed, are feelings you can only truly have toward people you love - be they friends or family! and when I say you can only feel this way, i mean really really feel these things deep down inside ... its as if a revolution of love took over and called something from deep inside me to be stirred because those who mean the most to me are hurting the most I have ever witnessed! this is what i mean when I say I felt the above list of emotion or reactions!

its also occurred to me that maybe this - plus a whole heapin' load more - is what Christ felt when he was summoned by the Father to serve us as a ransom for our sin on earth, its a love that spurred action and a hard pressed face to the wind mindset! it makes me grateful to him!
also I've thought of how even in the darkest of hours the Lord promises his provision! my first thoughts were of this passage (and song):

But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior ... Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, ... Fear not, for I am with you; ... whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." ... declares the LORD, "and I am God. Also henceforth I am he; there is none who can deliver from my hand; I work, and who can turn it back?" Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel ... "I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King." Thus says the LORD, who makes a way in the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings forth chariot and horse, army and warrior; they lie down, they cannot rise, they are extinguished, quenched like a wick: ... "I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The wild beasts will honor me, the jackals and the ostriches, for I give water in the wilderness, rivers in the desert, to give drink to my chosen people, the people whom I formed for myself that they might declare my praise ... I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. (selections of Ish 43)

surely this is the One and only who truly can deliver, and surely the high seas and dark skies of life are no challenge for him whose work cannot be undone!