Just Like the Spring Rains ...

In my last post, reading it now, its a little despairing ... ok, a lot despairing. But that was the reality of my spiritual condition, and subsequently the rest of my life's condition.


There was little joy to be had when I was alone with my thoughts, I was literally miserable. That may sound weird or crazy, but I think we can all put away the "bad," while with friends and laugh and cut up, I can and do. I do it pretty well. The only real indication of any deeper problem would probably be a much more cynical take on everything. But other than that, if you had been with me, no other symptoms existed. Yet let me alone, and the problems flooded me like a levy breaking, and a wall of bad washing over me. Everything became tedious, no joy, like I said, to be found any where. 


BUT ... isn't that one of the greatest words in the whole english vocabulary! 


BUT, God is God and He is unmatchably good, gracious, merciful, sovereign, and all-knowing about how much we, vessels of dust, can handle. I felt like I was at my breaking point. I was at my breaking point. 


Talk about irony! I am a missionary, I am "serving" ... in the last month it is hard to say if there was actually any true service, or if it was all just motions. But what can one do when there is no solution to be found. 


Anyway, I think it started last night. I sat with two of my teammates who left for Haiti today for the next month and we prayed. I prayed for them and their trip, and Nelta prayed for me. They both knew of my coldness of heart toward God. Nelta's prayer was sweet and so coveted by me. And I know there are many others back home who are praying too, but Nelta's I heard. 


Let me attest to the goodness of God, He has answered those prayers today! Whether I was waking, working, or worshiping ... well it was all worship, with a warmth of heart I have not felt for a long time. I even feel some of the intense passion that I typically think of characterizing me coming back. Now, not to get ahead of myself, nor to discount God ... but the enemy is lurking. I am not stupid, not all the time ... and by the grace of God I am now back on alert. I know the battle begins tomorrow afresh! But right now, I can revel in the work the Lord has wrought in my heart this day! Who ever would think so much can change in one day? I even was alive during the worship via song times today! It has been so wonderful. Surely there is no one nor nothing as deeply and truly satisfying as being know, loved, and enjoyed by the Great I AM or knowing, loving and enjoying the Great I AM.


This is my praise to you my God. You are worthy, and I your praises I seek to proclaim my entire life into eternity!