Thoughts 1/6/10

So tonight puts me at about 6 days (give or take) until I leave for Costa Rica for 5 to 6 months.

Now, I know people travel  for much longer than 5 or 6 months, but this is a big deal for me and my family. Trying to pack and plan for this is nearly driving me crazy. I have no idea how to properly pack ... ! Ugh.

Anyway, I asked a friend yesterday in Auburn how she felt before she traveled abroad for about the same amount of time ... cause I really couldn't quite find the right word to describe how I feel. The best I could do was "Not worried or nervous ... but kind of antsy."

She said surreal.

That is exactly how I feel. SURREAL. Life is just very surreal right now. I can tell myself I am moving to Costa Rica for 6 months, but I cant grasp that mentally. Think about it, its kind of insane!!! So, all day yesterday, saying goodbye to friends in Auburn, I told them (as they asked) that it just seems surreal. I guess another answer would have been, "Ask me when I get there!"

Having now mentioned "goodbyes" I must admit, only two made me sad. Even saying goodbye to several of my best friends was actually really easy. I mean its not like I won't see them in 6 months. Well, I am traveling home briefly for four days in April to be in the wedding of one of these best friends ... so, I guess that ones obviously not sad. The other best friend I said goodbye to was easy, I guess cause I am in his wedding as soon as I return. For another, it just was not sad. The other two don't live in Atlanta or Alabama, so its hard to have an actual goodbye. But I think you get my point.

But for two of my many goodbyes, I felt quite sad. It nearly took me by surprise. One was a friend of mine who I have spent so much time with over the last semester, who has grown to be one of my closest friends. During a semester of craziness and overwhelming stress, she and a few others really helped me to maintain some sort of sanity ... although she and the others may argue against that! The other sad goodbye was with a dear friend of mine who I spent absolutely no time with over the last semester. He lived in Africa during the fall. I got to see him for 4 hours yesterday. It was precious time, and I am grateful for the quick visit! Thanks be to God for it. But as I said goodbye to these two, I felt the unusual pang of sad in my heart. I think its because these two have had such a major influence in my life over the last several semesters. Conversations revolved around heart matters, we acted like silly kids together, and in general just shared life ... and when that happens, people grow dear to one another. These two are dear to me. I love them and I thank God in heaven for them. I shall miss them, perhaps more vividly than most.

Anyway, as I contemplated the sad in my heart, it occurred to me that I haven't taken time to try and evaluate where I am personally as I consider the major goodbyes soon approaching, of course I mean my family, as well as these other goodbyes just described.

I hope to be able over the next week to share some of what I am feeling, how Christ is preparing me, the times with my folks and little brother, etc...

In the meantime ...