high stakes or painful stakes?

The answer is painful stakes.

The question?

Its regarding the stake or thorn that was "buried" in Paul the Apostle's side. I call it a stake because, from my readings this morning I learned, the original Greek word means a 'stake,' carrying the connotation of a stake people often die on, though not the same as the stake at which many people have been burned to death.

I don't know what the thorn in Paul's side was, and I don't know that I really want to know ... cause it allows me to apply this to many areas of my life, where I feel as though I have a type of thorn in my side. I will mention, be it a physical pain or ailment he suffered or strictly some internal struggle that the great apostle battled ... it was for sure "a messenger of Satan."

That is, God the Father allowed Satan to assail Paul, just as He did with Job. Paul's suffering held a 2 fold purpose: a) to keep him from boasting and inflating himself by recollecting the revelation of unutterable words he heard and those things which he saw, as Christ called him up to the third heaven, either in or out of body - we know not, but God knows and b) to cause Paul to still continue to glorify God in this life - and this involves so many avenues of Paul's life ... things like his sanctification through sufferings,etc ... . Also, some say he was allowed this totally unique revelation to provide him the hope he would need in light of all that he was called to suffer for the sake of Christ's name.

Anyway, he goes on to say - and we all know it - that as he pleaded the thorn away, God replied, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul's response? "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

WHAT? He must be crazy!! WHAT ON EARTH, HOW DOES HE CHANGE SO QUICKLY? From pleading its removal, to not only accepting it, but joyfully accepting it. That's insane!!!

I don't know how to do this. And yes, I truly believe - rather it must be - an acceptance by the Lord's grace working in one's heart. But, I want to be able to worship and boast in all my weaknesses so that, just as Paul says, "so that the power of Christ may rest upon me... ."

The funny thing is, that as I was reading and thinking about this passage this morning, I had one of the worst migraines I have ever had. I mean - no walking, no light, no sleeping, no nothing that didn't make me feel like I would roll over and die if it started hurting more. It was MISERABLE. And that's the attitude I had. I felt miserable ... so I would be miserable.

Isn't that how it goes?

I want to know what it means to glady boast in weakness - to embrace weakness. What's it look like? How do you do it? Does it mean you just don't complain? Does it mean you tell everyone who horrible things in your life are, and then tell them you are grateful for them for you know that God moves in weakness? - This last question, is me as a cynic. I don't believe that is correct at all. My point is, I don't know what it means, and I want to.

God has placed along the span of my 23 years of life, a fair degree of hardship most people don't ever have to deal with ... even now if I am healthy (and I am) ... all the issues are still there, and it is something I can share and boast about to the glory of the Father ... but this still doesn't seem quite like the same thing as being weak and having the power of Christ resting upon you. Or is it?

If anyone has feedback, I would love to hear your thoughts.

This is the end, since I don't really have any real conclusion.

Bye.