Confirmation ... It's A Slippery Thing!

So, things with grad school are coming along very nicely as my last few posts should explain. In fact, I am currently in Hotlanta for a conference. Its the SNA - Southern Nursery Association-  Conference and Exhibition. Its a moderate size gathering of people from the Horticulture world, including those of Academia and the Trade. Its also moderately fun, key word being moderately. But, I was asked to come, which I took as a clear hint that I should come, despite not entirely having started my Masters program. You see, part of the conference is a competitive research speaking contest, in which I, yes I, will be presenting at next year, after a year's worth of my own research ... which begins August 12th! So, I am really here to get a feel for what is in store for me next year, which is very beneficial. 

But all that is somewhat beside the point. You see, as I sat through the 17 Masters students presentations this morning (form 8 am to 12 pm), I realized there was a part of me that was alive and excited with the challenges laid out ahead of me, particularly in these first months. Maybe I should say the adventures that are in store for me in the next months! The project I am going to be working on has a lot of people really excited, including myself, I just sort of feel I am going in blind ... but then again, all those who have gone before me, I know, have felt the same way.

But, back to my point again, I felt alive in a new, a fresh way. As I sat there, I contemplated the reality of being able to stand before a host of other researchers and industry personnel and explain new, cutting edge, and real RESULTS from a year of research. I considered the reality of having my name on a piece of legitimate science that nobody else has there name on. Now I know, that probably sounds like a cocky thing to say, but the honest answer there is that, whether or not it is, that is appealing. And maybe, just maybe these results will prove fundamentally explosive, with huge potential impacts both for the Fisheries industry and the Horticulture industry, as my study is a huge combo of the two.

So, I am sitting there taking in this feeling of excitement as a means by which the Lord is confirming this place in my life, as the place that He wants me! I am definitely rejoicing in this, and rejoicing in that He cares and expresses His love in these ways. It is the peace and confidence of knowing that I am not suppose to be doing anything else, at this point in life, than that which I am doing ... even if that means sitting for four hours listening to smart people talk about topics relating to plants! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love plants a lot and really enjoyed listening to most of the presentations! I just know any normal, non-horticulture person would deem us all a bunch of radical "tree huggers." (I am ok with that term.) Anyways, its was a cool experience, one which I have lived and witnessed before, and am confident that I will again. Its awe inspiring to think how God has worked very visibly & obviously during the last few weeks of my life and is continuing to.

But, I say confirmation is slippery because literally within two hours (maybe less, all the hours have now kind of meshed together), my confidence was being tested and shaken. The prince of this world had come and successfully exposed me to things that would in a short amount of time make me second guess all that I just described. This mainly happened by learning that I will begin learning the ropes of a non-functional irrigation system Tuesday, when I return to Auburn. Along with this, I am going to try to begin a log of what has been done to date on the project, as it has already been started by a technician. I also have statistics to learn in the next semester!

I mean, I guess I am just figuring that my under grad years, as they were coming to an end were easy enough to just sleep walk through. I knew what had to be done, and did it and passed and graduated. Now all the sudden I am looking down the throat of a beastly academic system, in which the pressure of performance is relatively high. But, if I would ever take a moment to weigh things out, all the comments made by those who are soon to be my peers, I would be much less swayed than I was today by the enemies sly and devious little attacks. Often times many of the current and more advanced grad students tell me of its good things, the fun things,  and the aid and camaraderie of all the grad students. I mean, there is a decent chance of some pretty cool travel opportunities too.

But, I guess having learned from this, I need to learn to assign to those attacks a big grain of salt, because there is some truth of challenge, unknown, steep learning curves, etc, but all in all, I hear only good things! Plus, God is a God who declares Himself to be worthy of being confident in, such as "I shall never leave you nor forsake you!"