A Deceitful Heart

I am amazed by how troublesome our hearts prove to be. They can be sources of complete corruption & the darkest of evil. Consider the ever quoted Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick who can understand it?" Furthermore Jesus speaks saying, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, & they defile a person” (Mark 7:20-23). I've experienced this in my own life, in my own heart and traversed some pretty dark places myself due to my own folly. I'll resound in praise with Paul when he says, "For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind & making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin" (Rom 7:22-25).

But recently, Mere & I, met some new friends who are incredibly deceived & blinded from ear itching lies. Its sad, frustrating, & absolutely astonishing to learn, to increasingly understand  what it is they have come to believe. It is an absolute fraud! - Let me say, I'm going to stay vague about who & what I am exactly referring to, just so you know. - Its blasphemous & upsetting, it violates my love & pride in God, urges me to boast all the more fully to them & all about how great my Jesus is! He is hands down the best, you can bank your entire existence on that!!! He'll always prove faithful and good, and greater than you could ever imagine.

My God - the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit - is the only ONE. There is none before or after Him, as is stated so plainly, "Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me. I, I am the Lord, and besides me there is no savior" (Isa 43:10-11, see also 41:4, 44:6, & 48:12; see Rev 22:13). And when someone - or a group or organization - proclaims that which is false, its must be met with truth in love.

If you happen upon this, pray that Mere and I will move forward in our new friendships with these folks in love and in bold truth, spoken with mercy and grace. Pray the Spirit will open their hearts and ears to hear and perceive all spiritual truth, that Christ is King and Savior their only and ultimate need. Pray we would be inspired by the Spirit when in conversation!

things God does

There are things God does that are expected - not deserved - but perhaps expected, because I know His nature, how He is ... indeed I know Him b/c He has made me to know Him!

Then there are things God does that are so unexpected that it takes me by surprise like a slap in the face would ... a really great & welcome slap in the face. Perhaps these unexpected happenings increase as believers grow up in Christ, or perhaps they increase! I don't know, nonetheless He surprises me ... & on days like Tuesday, a lot!

I'll begin with Mere's day on Monday. She was stopped by another teacher at her school who commented upon the "sweet spirit" with which Mere carries herself. Mere' s response was to note it was the Holy Spirit in her, and the conversation went on from there as Mere met another believer at her school! What a great answer to prayer, especially after our conversation just before school that morning. He is so good, knowing that encounter was the encouragement Meredith needed.

Now, for my day from Tuesday. It began as I was trying to figure out some changes to my insurance coverage.  I require a degree of extra medical care with all my "health issues," which are actually blessings from the Lord. Right now at work, I have the chance to adjust my coverage so I am taking advantage of this so that I can possibly transfer my lung transplant care to Duke University. On my current plan, Duke is not only out-of-network but not even covered by my plan. Boo! So, I was planning on changing to have out-of-network coverage. It'd be more expensive per month and per visit to see them but worth it since they are top in the nation for lung transplant care!

However, as it turns out, I can switch my insurance coverage to a different provided through the plans offered by my employer, without having to upgrade my plan (ie: increase my premiums)!!! I am - already have - switched my coverage to a different company for the basic coverage and now Duke is in-network and I am will not be paying an unnecessary premium increase for it!!!

All this is to say ... I had asked several people to join in praying with me that the Lord would work it out for my insurance changes to be effective ... and little did I know that He'd blow my mind and show how gracious He is to honor a little faith! Not only was it effective, but I will not be spending any more money than I have been!!! This is huge!!! I mean, we are not loaded or anything, so saving $360 a year is great news!!!

I have to consider, this is a taste of life in the Lord's kingdom, where the unexpected should become the expected, not because I deserve these blessings, but because we serve a God who is big and good! He is the God who said, "Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." (1 Cor 20-25). Things is the kingdom might just be a little backwards from how we tend to think they should be!


So in all this, let me in accord with Paul state, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord!” He is good and He is worthy!

Thanksgiving in the Sky

Are we still an awe-inspired race? Are you a human being with a sense of “amazement” about you, a sense of “wow,” a feeling of wonder?

It is easy not to be. But at times I am reminded of my own ability to be awe-struck; for what could be considered “common-place” to still strike at my heart, and fill me up to the brim with wonder like a young boy watching massive earth-moving equipment, or a space shuttle launching, or men in heavy suits running into a burning building. I know the feeling because I used to be that little boy. At times I still am, and now at times I am the one driving those machines (albeit they are not quite “massive”).

You see, I was flying home for Thanksgiving to Birmingham, where are my fiancé, my family, my future in-laws, and friends. The point is not actually that I was awe-inspired that I get to see them, although I was supremely thankful (But I was also excited to see them, especially my fiancé, but my family too!). It was the flying that had me thinking along these lines. You see, from the day I first experience flying until now ... I get giddy like a child the night before Santa comes. I was giddy like the night when I was 9 years old and my family and I were flying to Maine the next day to celebrate my 10th birthday with family at a cabin my grandparents used to own. That night I, slept in the very clothes I was going to be wearing on the plane the next day!!! My older brother made fun of me. Ha. 

Thats the kind of inspiration I am talking about. Its an excitement to be felt in the depth of who you are, at the core of your being. Granted, I did not sleep the night before traveling home for Thanksgiving in what I wore while traveling, but I was excited about my travels. And as best as it could have been, I had a window seat! I am so thankful for little things like that. I sat next to this really kind and loving young couple, who were clearly in love (not in a gross PDA kind of way, but in a good flirty kind of way). It was just a nice flight.

We took off through a thick layer of clouds, it was stormy and overcast that morning in Virginia Beach. Before we pierced through the clouds, I could see as far as forever ... and there the sun was breaking through in majestic fashion, with its striking rays of light warming the earth below. Then the clouds, like a white out. Then the sun and bright, perfect, spotless blue skies, with the thickest, most cotton-like layer of clouds below you could imagine! It honestly reminded me a of sea, rolling gently with waves ... I could really almost see it rise and fall. It was ... awe-inspiring!

And of course I would be far out of place to go on and on about the beautiful creation I witnessed from a bird’s eye view, without mentioning and raving on about the God who created it all!!! Its amazing ... because He is amazing. It is awe-inspiring because He is awe-inspiring. Its the truth. Consider David’s own proclamation of God’s handiwork, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” (Ps 19:1-2) This is the absolute end of creation, the magnification of its Creator. As we rose above the clouds, all I could do was look with child-like wonder and thank my God for such a demonstration of himself.

And then I did it all over again from Atlanta to Birmingham, and I have no problem with that. The flight does not get old. I truly enjoy them. I am like a kid when I am around planes, I am awe-struck. Ask Meredith. She has flown with me and knows how I can be. I always mention something about how amazing it is that we climb into a hunk of metal, use the air to propel us forward and upward and before we know it, we are moving through the skies and the heavens at 100’s of miles per hour. ...  WHAT??? I know, it is so insane. And then to think we often do not bat an eye about FLIGHT, but instead complain! We should all be ashamed of ourselves for loosing our sense of wonder. I am when I do.

And if this is not enough to be amazed with, consider what David says later in Psalm 19, “Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent form hidden faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless and innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD , my rock and my redeemer.” ... Basically what David just said is that as a human being, he is not even aware of all of his faults and in order to be blameless and holy before the Lord he (all of us) are dependent upon the Lord to enlighten our dimmed vision to see where we may stumble both known and unknown, both willingly and unknowingly. We need a God - a SAVIOR - who is so gracious, that he will be willing to keep us from destroying ourselves!!! If He keeps us and warns us, guides in righteousness then our meditations and words and lives will be pleasing and honoring to Him. 

THAT IS AMAZING. It is also all we need to be thankful, not that we don’t have countless blessing to be thankful for too.

So, stay awe-struck and be thankful. Happy belated Thanksgiving.

There's No Menthol in Heaven

I might be taking some liberties here, but humor me for a few moments.

Two days ago, my throat was sore. Yesterday, I lived on cough drops as my achy throat grew increasingly sore & raw feeling. This morning, I thought I was going to fall over dizzy when I first woke up as my sore throat turned into a full blown sinus infection. O joy!

Head full of gross gunk? - ✓
Outrageous sinus pressure? - ✓
Dizziness? - ✓
Etc, etc, etc? - ✓

So, its menthol to the rescue!!! One of the best homeopathic treatments for a cold/sinus infection is what I call a head steam!!! Its fantastic. You need...

• Menthol/Camphor rub
• Eucalyptus leaves
• Evergreen needles (I have used eastern red cedar needles, pine needles, etc)
• Large pot
• Stove
• Water
• Towel

Heat the water up, once heated keep it on low! Add the first 3 ingredients, drape the towel over your head and your head & towel over the pot. Then enjoy the powerful vapors rushing through your heard, clearing everything out!

However, as good as this is, it is truly not that great.

What is great, is Christ's promises spoken through Paul when he declares, "But our citizenship is in heaven, & from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself" (Phil 3:20-21). Also see 1 Corinthians 15:42-49!!!

Not that a glorified & perfect body is ultimate, I think it is far from ultimate, but it is a joyous promise. In heaven, having received a body that is made like Jesus' eternal & glorious body, there will be no stupid sinus infections, no sickness, no disease, no death!!!* And if there is not those things, there will be no need for menthol!!!

Note: The only way I can figure there would be menthol in heaven is if it enhances the eternal pleasure of the saints ... but seeing that we will have Jesus, face to face .... I have my doubts. 

Thus, there will be no menthol in heaven!
Just saying.





*I know this could possibly sound trivial to some, to think a puny sinus infection spurred on this dramatic lamenting for my restored heavenly body. But I trust, if you know me, then you know there is a background to this far greater than a meager sinus infection (even though I do feel pretty lousy). I know there are those who are suffering in ways I never dare to imagine. I know there are families in great anguish as cancer & other terminal illnesses grip ever-tighter around a loved one. I know there are those who are physically handicapped, stricken all their lives, desiring to be able to walk & run freely, yet cannot. I know there are those who are mentally handicapped, who they themselves will undergo some of the most dramatic restorations we dare to imagine!!! In that coming day, I rejoice!!! So, please do not think I am ignorant or unmindful of those in much more dyer circumstances than my own, I am. This is just where my thoughts meandered this morning as I lay in bed, hung my head over a menthol steam, etc.

At what cost?

Reading has got to be one of God's greatest gifts to man. Not only because of His written word, the Bible, but also because of the 100's of other books of great value that add a lot of needed perspective for this limited-sighted American (me).

The book? A classic in Christian biography ... God's Smuggler, the tale of Brother Andrew and post WWII behind the Iron Curtain.

The following excerpt is Brother Andrew's assessment of a Kingdom couple (Abraham & wife) who had willingly and joyfully given up everything in communist Bulgaria, in the late 1950 or early 60's, for the sake of the glory and kingdom of Christ in a time when to be Christian was outright blasphemy against the "State."

It was 2 hours including the rest stops for us, before we rounded a rocky ledge, stepped behind a screen of wind-twisted pines, and were standing in front of the goatskin tent where Abraham lived. He looked more than ever the Biblical patriarch as he welcomed us to his home. In a moment his wife had stepped outside, as composed as though visitors were dropping into their mountain hide-away every day. She was as tiny as her husband was big, a slender erect little woman with skin like wrinkled parchment. Only their eyes were alike, blue, childlike, trusting. I looked at this woman who had once had a house replete with rugs, cupboards, linens - servants, probably, for they had been well-to-do - and though that I had never seen a face more content with what life had brought (pg164).

This is why I was so struck by this particular paragraph, outside of the unimaginable consequence they were facing as Christians. Recently - yesterday - I signed papers for what is to become mine and Meredith's home. We are so excited, and so so grateful for all the provision that has preceded this moment so that we can afford a home in Virginia Beach. More than that, on our fairly modest budget (by relative standards) we are getting a lot of house - that is not bragging unless it be bragging on behalf of the Lord's grace toward us.

I guess what gets me, is that as Mere and I talked about what we want verse need in a house, our standards from the get go were fairly high. And here, these warriors from the past are showing me that even what we need, is not what we think. I am not saying that just because they lived in a goatskin tent, that Mere and I should, or anyone else for that matter ... because the point is not what we choose to live in or with, but how we submit and follow the Lord. I just know, based on what we both want in our home (which, the Lord provided more than our wants even), that it would be hard to lose the little we have and move into a goatskin tent on the side of mountain for the sake of the Lord's work. It just is a massive dose of perspective in a world with less and less true perspective.

Having said that, we have high high hopes that what has been provided for us - our incomes and home, talents and time - that we will honor the Lord greatly and that our home will shine as a house where all are welcome, where the hungry get fed, the weary find rest, and whatever else. And those are not just cliché phrases, I mean that. I desire to find the balance of opening our home to those in need, for the sake of the name of Christ. That is, we both want to be good stewards of what the Lord has provided.

So I ask myself, what I am willing to give up for the sake of the Lord? Will I follow Him wherever - EVERY WHERE - He might take our family? What about you?

I don't have a dream!

What an absurd statement that would be. I would rebuke you for such a declaration; & I hope you would me.

As I am beginning this new phase of life ... there is this drawn out beginning of about 4 months ... a new phase that includes a "real life" job, "real life" responsibilities, & marriage. Its safe to say that its a new phase. Anyway, as I transition into it, I am mindful of the question, "What are my dreams? ...What is the most outlandish, crazy, & farfetched dream I have?" That's been in my head & heart a lot recently. I guess change stirs everything up again. I am okay with that!

These thoughts also make me mindful of one of my favorite quotes of all time, "Care more than some think is wise; Risk more than some think is safe; DREAM more than some think is practical; Expect more than some think is possible." This phrase strikes a the core of my being in ways I do not know how to explain.

As for dreaming, I think I have lost some of my ability to dream the impossible. My imagination is diminished, to a degree. I think reality can do that. That is why we must get out & find adventure, come face to face with risk, & push the limits of the status quo. When I say adventure, I mean action-packed, on-the-edge of your seat, life-giving adventure! Get out & rock climb, be intimidated by the height & then laugh in its face, climb a mountain, play in waves that scare you, ride you bike too far one way knowing you have the same distance still to go to get home, run until your legs give out, serve the unserved, love the unloved. Do stupid things - with in reason. Go streaking or skinny dipping, I don't care ... DO SOMETHING! I say these things, because they break the pattern of what we have come to tamely call "reality," or "life." These things give life. They are practical, & tangible. I think it helps to awaken our souls to the dreams God has given us that are hopefully much, much larger than we are ... dreams need be grandiose & ridiculous!

So, I commit to as often as I can, finding a source of adventure & taking advantage of it.

I am 100% convinced that we are each given a dream bigger than ourselves, & if that be they case it means we each have a purpose bigger than ourselves. Now, I have what may sound like a simple answer, maybe even cliché ... but that is because we don't fully understand (I am included in that). The only thing beyond us is God. He made it that way. The God-sized dreams of life are because He is the author of them, & has invited us to share in living out those dreams as He makes the impossible happen. If He is the author, than our purpose is to display His ability to make the impossible, the impractical happen. In short, our purpose is to glorify God, by being agents of His glory in Jesus Christ.

So I am fully convinced that big & over-the-top dreams are a necessity of life ... otherwise we get molded into some hum-drum routine. I am not down with that. So, maybe you're thinking,  "Well, you have all this high & lofty talk of dreams, what are yours?" If you were thinking, thanks for asking.

I have had two magnificent dreams for probably the last 10 years, & they've yet to change.

First & foremost, I have ambitions & dreams of being overseas engaging a world longing to meet its Creator, with its Creator; ambitions of being used in some meager or magnificent way of spreading the Kingdom of Christ, of how He invites people to join Him in His unusual means of conquest...love, grace, mercy, holiness, & justice. It is inevitable & drawing nearer with each passing day, that He will make it happen. So I want to be about it, both here In Virginia Beach & there ... wherever "there" is.

An unbearably close second to that is to have a my own family. You may think these are small dreams, but I have a different take. What amazes me most, is that I am participating in this second one coming to fruition, right before my very eyes! I've met, dated, & engaged my soon-to-be-wife & as I have told her often, as much as I asked from the Lord for "the girl he had for me," I did not ask enough ... because I got a lot more goodness & amazing-ness than I ever knew to ask for. She is amazing, an answer to a long prayed prayer, & perfect. I think that right there is to dream more than some think practical. Because what I know is this ... there is nothing even remotely logical, or explicable about two sinners joining their life together & expecting it to go well. We are both too selfish, left to our own devices that is...THAT IS NOT PRACTICAL. Yet, we are convinced by God's everlasting love & the covenant of grace we have with Him in Christ, that He will provide more than sufficiently what we need to be a living example of that very covenant, the one Christ made for His bride, the Church. So the soon-to-come day when we both say "I do," its not an option, we will have covenanted with each & before God, & are therefore dedicated to each other for life.

We will join our lives together as one, to pursue what extravagant & outlandish dream He has for us as a family, both while here in Virginia Beach & there, wherever "there" is. I am set for adventure, for I believe that I am the follower of a wild, & untamed God who is far to creative to let me be bored in life; because He calls you and me to be completely abandoned and recklessly His, releasing the care of self into His control, and then we are free to be use by Him.

Starting Adulthood

Three weeks ago I asked the 10 year old son of a friend of mine, "How old do you have to be to be an adult?" His answer surprised me. He said 20. We all laughed because he took about a minute or two to think it over, and answer with a question "20?"

Good thing for me, he is wrong. Adulthood begins when you start paying for everything. In my case, by God's grace that has not happened until now. I am aware of how fortunate (and spoiled) that makes me. But my folks are the most gracious and giving people I know, so they have been so good to me to "help me out" these 25 years.

But adulthood has officially been reached when you begin to pay for everything. It begins when you start working a legit 8-5 job, and realize how much you took for granted all the free time of the college years (and maybe a year or more afterward too). I have realized how much my dad has given of himself day in and day out, for longer than I have been alive to provide the kind of life I had growing up. Granted, all we - the Sleepers - have is because Christ secured all blessings at the cross, both eternal and temporal, tangible and invisible alike. But that does not mean my dad has not worked hard and diligent for many years to provide for us in the way he has/does/will.

It also goes to show me how much he must have given of himself, not just the hours and sometimes the really long hours, but the setting aside of self to meet the needs and more often than that the wants of his family. I cannot remember once where his desires superseded the family as a whole. Not once. My mom, brothers, and myself have always said, "He is the most giving and generous person I know." that statement was true then, but now, O BOY! Now it rings with new depth of meaning and significance, because as I sit here I am constantly thinking how I can even now less than 4 months from marrying Meredith, I am thinking how am I going to best provide for her? How will I tangibly and really put her first, ahead of me every single time?Not just in the theoreticals and hypotheticals.

And that is when I recall I have two examples, no make that three. I have my dad, who has been married to my mom for 35 or 36 some odd years. I have my older brother, who has been married to Brooke for 4 and 1/2 years, and I also have CHRIST and the CHURCH. One of those stands tall above the other two, you figure it out.

So, as I begin my adulthood phase of life, I am excited, a bit stressed out (trying to get this new life up and running), a bit anxious with anticipation of all the new coming my way tomorrow, next week, in November, and especially in January. But not so anxious about January, just thrilled out of my mind!

So, how old do you have to be to be an adult? ... I hope there is no set age, because I don't ever want to grow up fully ... you know, I still want to have some child-like playfulness about in the next 60 years.