as for me

Thanksgiving in the Sky

2011-12-01T09:12:00.003-06:00

Are we still an awe-inspired race? Are you a human being with a sense of “amazement” about you, a sense of “wow,” a feeling of wonder?

It is easy not to be. But at times I am reminded of my own ability to be awe-struck; for what could be considered “common-place” to still strike at my heart, and fill me up to the brim with wonder like a young boy watching massive earth-moving equipment, or a space shuttle launching, or men in heavy suits running into a burning building. I know the feeling because I used to be that little boy. At times I still am, and now at times I am the one driving those machines (albeit they are not quite “massive”).

You see, I was flying home for Thanksgiving to Birmingham, where are my fiancé, my family, my future in-laws, and friends. The point is not actually that I was awe-inspired that I get to see them, although I was supremely thankful (But I was also excited to see them, especially my fiancé, but my family too!). It was the flying that had me thinking along these lines. You see, from the day I first experience flying until now ... I get giddy like a child the night before Santa comes. I was giddy like the night when I was 9 years old and my family and I were flying to Maine the next day to celebrate my 10th birthday with family at a cabin my grandparents used to own. That night I, slept in the very clothes I was going to be wearing on the plane the next day!!! My older brother made fun of me. Ha.

Thats the kind of inspiration I am talking about. Its an excitement to be felt in the depth of who you are, at the core of your being. Granted, I did not sleep the night before traveling home for Thanksgiving in what I wore while traveling, but I was excited about my travels. And as best as it could have been, I had a window seat! I am so thankful for little things like that. I sat next to this really kind and loving young couple, who were clearly in love (not in a gross PDA kind of way, but in a good flirty kind of way). It was just a nice flight.

We took off through a thick layer of clouds, it was stormy and overcast that morning in Virginia Beach. Before we pierced through the clouds, I could see as far as forever ... and there the sun was breaking through in majestic fashion, with its striking rays of light warming the earth below. Then the clouds, like a white out. Then the sun and bright, perfect, spotless blue skies, with the thickest, most cotton-like layer of clouds below you could imagine! It honestly reminded me a of sea, rolling gently with waves ... I could really almost see it rise and fall. It was ... awe-inspiring!

And of course I would be far out of place to go on and on about the beautiful creation I witnessed from a bird’s eye view, without mentioning and raving on about the God who created it all!!! Its amazing ... because He is amazing. It is awe-inspiring because He is awe-inspiring. Its the truth. Consider David’s own proclamation of God’s handiwork, “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” (Ps 19:1-2) This is the absolute end of creation, the magnification of its Creator. As we rose above the clouds, all I could do was look with child-like wonder and thank my God for such a demonstration of himself.

And then I did it all over again from Atlanta to Birmingham, and I have no problem with that. The flight does not get old. I truly enjoy them. I am like a kid when I am around planes, I am awe-struck. Ask Meredith. She has flown with me and knows how I can be. I always mention something about how amazing it is that we climb into a hunk of metal, use the air to propel us forward and upward and before we know it, we are moving through the skies and the heavens at 100’s of miles per hour. ... WHAT??? I know, it is so insane. And then to think we often do not bat an eye about FLIGHT, but instead complain! We should all be ashamed of ourselves for loosing our sense of wonder. I am when I do.

And if this is not enough to be amazed with, consider what David says later in Psalm 19, “Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent form hidden faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless and innocent of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD , my rock and my redeemer.” ... Basically what David just said is that as a human being, he is not even aware of all of his faults and in order to be blameless and holy before the Lord he (all of us) are dependent upon the Lord to enlighten our dimmed vision to see where we may stumble both known and unknown, both willingly and unknowingly. We need a God - a SAVIOR - who is so gracious, that he will be willing to keep us from destroying ourselves!!! If He keeps us and warns us, guides in righteousness then our meditations and words and lives will be pleasing and honoring to Him.

THAT IS AMAZING. It is also all we need to be thankful, not that we don’t have countless blessing to be thankful for too.

So, stay awe-struck and be thankful. Happy belated Thanksgiving.

There's No Menthol in Heaven

2011-10-09T12:03:00.000-05:00

I might be taking some liberties here, but humor me for a few moments.

Two days ago, my throat was sore. Yesterday, I lived on cough drops as my achy throat grew increasingly sore & raw feeling. This morning, I thought I was going to fall over dizzy when I first woke up as my sore throat turned into a full blown sinus infection. O joy!

Head full of gross gunk? - ✓
Outrageous sinus pressure? - ✓
Dizziness? - ✓
Etc, etc, etc? - ✓

So, its menthol to the rescue!!! One of the best homeopathic treatments for a cold/sinus infection is what I call a head steam!!! Its fantastic. You need...

Menthol/Camphor rub
Eucalyptus leaves
Evergreen needles (I have used eastern red cedar needles, pine needles, etc)
Large pot
Stove
Water
Towel

Heat the water up, once heated keep it on low! Add the first 3 ingredients, drape the towel over your head and your head & towel over the pot. Then enjoy the powerful vapors rushing through your heard, clearing everything out!

However, as good as this is, it is truly not that great.

What is great, is Christ's promises spoken through Paul when he declares, "But our citizenship is in heaven, & from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself" (Phil 3:20-21). Also see 1 Corinthians 15:42-49!!!

Not that a glorified & perfect body is ultimate, I think it is far from ultimate, but it is a joyous promise. In heaven, having received a body that is made like Jesus' eternal & glorious body, there will be no stupid sinus infections, no sickness, no disease, no death!!!* And if there is not those things, there will be no need for menthol!!!

Note: The only way I can figure there would be menthol in heaven is if it enhances the eternal pleasure of the saints ... but seeing that we will have Jesus, face to face .... I have my doubts.

Thus, there will be no menthol in heaven!
Just saying.

*I know this could possibly sound trivial to some, to think a puny sinus infection spurred on this dramatic lamenting for my restored heavenly body. But I trust, if you know me, then you know there is a background to this far greater than a meager sinus infection (even though I do feel pretty lousy). I know there are those who are suffering in ways I never dare to imagine. I know there are families in great anguish as cancer & other terminal illnesses grip ever-tighter around a loved one. I know there are those who are physically handicapped, stricken all their lives, desiring to be able to walk & run freely, yet cannot. I know there are those who are mentally handicapped, who they themselves will undergo some of the most dramatic restorations we dare to imagine!!! In that coming day, I rejoice!!! So, please do not think I am ignorant or unmindful of those in much more dyer circumstances than my own, I am. This is just where my thoughts meandered this morning as I lay in bed, hung my head over a menthol steam, etc.

At what cost?

2011-09-23T08:04:00.001-05:00

Reading has got to be one of God's greatest gifts to man. Not only because of His written word, the Bible, but also because of the 100's of other books of great value that add a lot of needed perspective for this limited-sighted American (me).

The book? A classic in Christian biography ... God's Smuggler, the tale of Brother Andrew and post WWII behind the Iron Curtain.

The following excerpt is Brother Andrew's assessment of a Kingdom couple (Abraham & wife) who had willingly and joyfully given up everything in communist Bulgaria, in the late 1950 or early 60's, for the sake of the glory and kingdom of Christ in a time when to be Christian was outright blasphemy against the "State."

It was 2 hours including the rest stops for us, before we rounded a rocky ledge, stepped behind a screen of wind-twisted pines, and were standing in front of the goatskin tent where Abraham lived. He looked more than ever the Biblical patriarch as he welcomed us to his home. In a moment his wife had stepped outside, as composed as though visitors were dropping into their mountain hide-away every day. She was as tiny as her husband was big, a slender erect little woman with skin like wrinkled parchment. Only their eyes were alike, blue, childlike, trusting. I looked at this woman who had once had a house replete with rugs, cupboards, linens - servants, probably, for they had been well-to-do - and though that I had never seen a face more content with what life had brought (pg164).

This is why I was so struck by this particular paragraph, outside of the unimaginable consequence they were facing as Christians. Recently - yesterday - I signed papers for what is to become mine and Meredith's home. We are so excited, and so so grateful for all the provision that has preceded this moment so that we can afford a home in Virginia Beach. More than that, on our fairly modest budget (by relative standards) we are getting a lot of house - that is not bragging unless it be bragging on behalf of the Lord's grace toward us.

I guess what gets me, is that as Mere and I talked about what we want verse need in a house, our standards from the get go were fairly high. And here, these warriors from the past are showing me that even what we need, is not what we think. I am not saying that just because they lived in a goatskin tent, that Mere and I should, or anyone else for that matter ... because the point is not what we choose to live in or with, but how we submit and follow the Lord. I just know, based on what we both want in our home (which, the Lord provided more than our wants even), that it would be hard to lose the little we have and move into a goatskin tent on the side of mountain for the sake of the Lord's work. It just is a massive dose of perspective in a world with less and less true perspective.

Having said that, we have high high hopes that what has been provided for us - our incomes and home, talents and time - that we will honor the Lord greatly and that our home will shine as a house where all are welcome, where the hungry get fed, the weary find rest, and whatever else. And those are not just cliché phrases, I mean that. I desire to find the balance of opening our home to those in need, for the sake of the name of Christ. That is, we both want to be good stewards of what the Lord has provided.

So I ask myself, what I am willing to give up for the sake of the Lord? Will I follow Him wherever - EVERY WHERE - He might take our family? What about you?

I don't have a dream!

2011-09-18T20:06:00.000-05:00

What an absurd statement that would be. I would rebuke you for such a declaration; & I hope you would me.

As I am beginning this new phase of life ... there is this drawn out beginning of about 4 months ... a new phase that includes a "real life" job, "real life" responsibilities, & marriage. Its safe to say that its a new phase. Anyway, as I transition into it, I am mindful of the question, "What are my dreams? ...What is the most outlandish, crazy, & farfetched dream I have?" That's been in my head & heart a lot recently. I guess change stirs everything up again. I am okay with that!

These thoughts also make me mindful of one of my favorite quotes of all time, "Care more than some think is wise; Risk more than some think is safe; DREAM more than some think is practical; Expect more than some think is possible." This phrase strikes a the core of my being in ways I do not know how to explain.

As for dreaming, I think I have lost some of my ability to dream the impossible. My imagination is diminished, to a degree. I think reality can do that. That is why we must get out & find adventure, come face to face with risk, & push the limits of the status quo. When I say adventure, I mean action-packed, on-the-edge of your seat, life-giving adventure! Get out & rock climb, be intimidated by the height & then laugh in its face, climb a mountain, play in waves that scare you, ride you bike too far one way knowing you have the same distance still to go to get home, run until your legs give out, serve the unserved, love the unloved. Do stupid things - with in reason. Go streaking or skinny dipping, I don't care ... DO SOMETHING! I say these things, because they break the pattern of what we have come to tamely call "reality," or "life." These things give life. They are practical, & tangible. I think it helps to awaken our souls to the dreams God has given us that are hopefully much, much larger than we are ... dreams need be grandiose & ridiculous!

So, I commit to as often as I can, finding a source of adventure & taking advantage of it.

I am 100% convinced that we are each given a dream bigger than ourselves, & if that be they case it means we each have a purpose bigger than ourselves. Now, I have what may sound like a simple answer, maybe even cliché ... but that is because we don't fully understand (I am included in that). The only thing beyond us is God. He made it that way. The God-sized dreams of life are because He is the author of them, & has invited us to share in living out those dreams as He makes the impossible happen. If He is the author, than our purpose is to display His ability to make the impossible, the impractical happen. In short, our purpose is to glorify God, by being agents of His glory in Jesus Christ.

So I am fully convinced that big & over-the-top dreams are a necessity of life ... otherwise we get molded into some hum-drum routine. I am not down with that. So, maybe you're thinking, "Well, you have all this high & lofty talk of dreams, what are yours?" If you were thinking, thanks for asking.

I have had two magnificent dreams for probably the last 10 years, & they've yet to change.

First & foremost, I have ambitions & dreams of being overseas engaging a world longing to meet its Creator, with its Creator; ambitions of being used in some meager or magnificent way of spreading the Kingdom of Christ, of how He invites people to join Him in His unusual means of conquest...love, grace, mercy, holiness, & justice. It is inevitable & drawing nearer with each passing day, that He will make it happen. So I want to be about it, both here In Virginia Beach & there ... wherever "there" is.

An unbearably close second to that is to have a my own family. You may think these are small dreams, but I have a different take. What amazes me most, is that I am participating in this second one coming to fruition, right before my very eyes! I've met, dated, & engaged my soon-to-be-wife & as I have told her often, as much as I asked from the Lord for "the girl he had for me," I did not ask enough ... because I got a lot more goodness & amazing-ness than I ever knew to ask for. She is amazing, an answer to a long prayed prayer, & perfect. I think that right there is to dream more than some think practical. Because what I know is this ... there is nothing even remotely logical, or explicable about two sinners joining their life together & expecting it to go well. We are both too selfish, left to our own devices that is...THAT IS NOT PRACTICAL. Yet, we are convinced by God's everlasting love & the covenant of grace we have with Him in Christ, that He will provide more than sufficiently what we need to be a living example of that very covenant, the one Christ made for His bride, the Church. So the soon-to-come day when we both say "I do," its not an option, we will have covenanted with each & before God, & are therefore dedicated to each other for life.

We will join our lives together as one, to pursue what extravagant & outlandish dream He has for us as a family, both while here in Virginia Beach & there, wherever "there" is. I am set for adventure, for I believe that I am the follower of a wild, & untamed God who is far to creative to let me be bored in life; because He calls you and me to be completely abandoned and recklessly His, releasing the care of self into His control, and then we are free to be use by Him.

Starting Adulthood

2011-09-14T20:47:00.000-05:00

Three weeks ago I asked the 10 year old son of a friend of mine, "How old do you have to be to be an adult?" His answer surprised me. He said 20. We all laughed because he took about a minute or two to think it over, and answer with a question "20?"

Good thing for me, he is wrong. Adulthood begins when you start paying for everything. In my case, by God's grace that has not happened until now. I am aware of how fortunate (and spoiled) that makes me. But my folks are the most gracious and giving people I know, so they have been so good to me to "help me out" these 25 years.

But adulthood has officially been reached when you begin to pay for everything. It begins when you start working a legit 8-5 job, and realize how much you took for granted all the free time of the college years (and maybe a year or more afterward too). I have realized how much my dad has given of himself day in and day out, for longer than I have been alive to provide the kind of life I had growing up. Granted, all we - the Sleepers - have is because Christ secured all blessings at the cross, both eternal and temporal, tangible and invisible alike. But that does not mean my dad has not worked hard and diligent for many years to provide for us in the way he has/does/will.

It also goes to show me how much he must have given of himself, not just the hours and sometimes the really long hours, but the setting aside of self to meet the needs and more often than that the wants of his family. I cannot remember once where his desires superseded the family as a whole. Not once. My mom, brothers, and myself have always said, "He is the most giving and generous person I know." that statement was true then, but now, O BOY! Now it rings with new depth of meaning and significance, because as I sit here I am constantly thinking how I can even now less than 4 months from marrying Meredith, I am thinking how am I going to best provide for her? How will I tangibly and really put her first, ahead of me every single time?Not just in the theoreticals and hypotheticals.

And that is when I recall I have two examples, no make that three. I have my dad, who has been married to my mom for 35 or 36 some odd years. I have my older brother, who has been married to Brooke for 4 and 1/2 years, and I also have CHRIST and the CHURCH. One of those stands tall above the other two, you figure it out.

So, as I begin my adulthood phase of life, I am excited, a bit stressed out (trying to get this new life up and running), a bit anxious with anticipation of all the new coming my way tomorrow, next week, in November, and especially in January. But not so anxious about January, just thrilled out of my mind!

So, how old do you have to be to be an adult? ... I hope there is no set age, because I don't ever want to grow up fully ... you know, I still want to have some child-like playfulness about in the next 60 years.

Some Days

2011-09-10T22:45:00.000-05:00

Some days are deceitful.
Or perhaps its the depravity of my heart that makes me feel this way.

Today began with me joining up with some men from a local church that one of my co-workers goes to. He invited me. The breakfast was good, the fellowship uplifting, and the Word was brought in a big way!

Sidenote - I have had basically zero fellowship with the Body of Christ Jesus since moving here, mainly for reasons out of my control (hurricane one week, 1/2 marathon blocking the street week two). So this hour or two was more than past due. It seemed to me to be a bit of a small taste of a land flowing with milk and honey. It was sweet. It was thirst quenching, life-giving, and inspiring. Further, it was re-enlightening as to why we - the Body, the Bride of Jesus our Lord and Savior - have each other; why the Body exists! Ultimately, we exist to give glory to our heavenly Father who is worthy of our praise. Second, the Church exists to make us useful for the sake of Christ. Alone, I flounder, struggle, and eventually wind up stagnant. That is why we need the Church.

Back on topic - why some days seems deceitful...

That breakfast set the tone for my day. Most of it, until one particular moment. Circumstances do not really matter - as much as I'd like to gripe and complain about them - its not good, or worth it. But due to certain circumstances I was unable to watch the 2nd half of the Auburn game ... and was in fact interrupted early through the 2nd quarter. Well, I was in a terror trying to find a place to watch the game. I had by this time already been sucked deep into the grip of SEC and more importantly Auburn football.

The interruption basically let loose from inside of me, a side of me I despise. And there it is ... the day is not so deceitful as my heart is. For my heart can rejoice and be jubilant in the Good News of Jesus one hour (one moment) and turn right back around and curse the ground, the air, whatever is nearest because I cannot watch some precious game. I can wake up and feel the weekend freedom and infinitely more the freedom in the Gospel; and then reject it all to be accosted by my own self-involvement.

In that little instance, my whole day changed. MY plans were interrupted. Bam. Done. I was pissed and remained that way for a long time. Talk about living in the flesh, sometimes it would seem the old man is alive and well, and not so old.

And even now as I sit here, that one instance is still not out of my mind, far from it. My perspective on it is increasingly right, but I am still battling my feeling of embitterment. Still battling the disrespectful comments running through my mind. Still praying for grace to choose forgiveness, to choose mercy and grace in light of grace and mercy bestowed. Its actually amazing.

As you might imagine, I do not feel like a million bucks right now. Far from it. I feel like a failure, and my pride is hurt by my own failure to keep up with my own expectations of myself, as if I am not as in desperate need of the Gospel as I actually am.

So, I am going back to this morning in my mind, in my heart, and in the Word. Colossians baby! ... What matters? A fleeting football game some kids are playing ... or this, "HE is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by HIM all thing were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through HIM and for HIM. And HE is before all things, and in HIM all things hold together. And HE is the head of the body, the church. HE is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything HE might be preeminent. For in HIM all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through HIM to reconcile to HIMSELF all things whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of HIS cross." (Col 1:15-20).

I am going to say #2 matters more, and most. That's where I must find myself...at the cross with all my nothingness to offer, with open arms to accept the everything HE gives.

Does this make me a Hokie, cause I feel like a tiger.

2011-08-24T09:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, in 13 hours, I left a life in Birmingham AL that I have known for 10 years, for a new life in Virginia Beach, VA. The only word I have for it is surreal. Simply put, it does not seem real.

Being married to Meredith in four months seems more real to me, than actually being in Va Beach ... for good, not just for a trip. I am here to stay. Its bizarre. My family and I moved to five different cities growing up, but its been a long time since I have permanently relocated, so I've grown a bit unfamiliar with the feelings associated with such changes. But it is good; its good because I am bought and loved by a good God. He does all things well. In Genesis he rejoiced at the good work of His hands in creation. Each new day passed and He proclaimed to a universe reverberating with His glory, "IT IS GOOD!" This is not surprising, because He was simply - yet in no unmistakable fashion - declaring with absolute certainty what is true of Himself, of His character. That He is good.

Thus reason and logic would lead me here ... This is also good. I'd even say great! Which leads me to ask, "Why the mixed feelings?" The answer is simply, with multiple facets.

I had to say goodbye to the girl I love, the girl I am head over heels for, my fiancé. Show me a guy who has to leave his fiancé for a time who is not grieved and with a heavy heart, and I'll show you a guy who does not love her well or right.

I had to say goodbye to my mom and dad and little brother, who I have had the pleasure to living with for the last year, albeit unexpected.

I had to say goodbye to friends I love, even to friends who recently moved to the area that I've known since living in Auburn.

I dropped everything I've grown to know and love all for a new location, new job, new friends, new culture. It may come as a surprise, but the culture of Birmingham AL and Virginia Beach, VA are NOT the same. Sorry, I am not trying to sound like some martyr or something, this is just the flow of thoughts in my head and heart right now.

BUT ... I am excited. I have not doubt this will be a good place, a good life. Christ has poured blessing upon blessing out and grace upon grace over me, to give me the desires of my heart. So I am moving forward, praying that I keep this mindset and to press on to live the best life I can. I feel almost like I've been given the chance to start over, or at least again. ... I feel as though I am running full steam ahead, in light of God's blessing to the next phase of life. And its very exciting.

I guess I just have one question. Since I am going to be working for Virginia Tech - starting tomorrow - does this make me a Hokie? 'Cause I feel like a Tiger! (And I know my answer to that one too).

happenings

2011-08-21T23:23:00.000-05:00

There are many happenings to report. The happenings are all a reflection of God's grace, providence, and provision overflowing my cup. Its His love in my life, and it is all for His glory.

Good things happen to lousy people. I can testify to this. My life is living evidence of this. Why lousy? The Bible explains this in great detail. ...

In my own natural state, I hate God - the Creator, Sovereign, and Father of all men - in my natural state - left to my own devises - I hate Him. Why? Because in my natural state I love self more. Thus I am well acquainted with the crowd who cried "Crucify! Crucify!" that dark day years ago, as my God saw it best to raise up the only perfect and only righteous Man the world has ever known upon a rugged cross of wood, so that my wrath, your wrath, all wrath due to all men from a holy and just God would be lain upon Jesus' shoulders. He bore in 3 hours, what you and I could never pay in an eternity in hell. In doing so, He lived the life I could never live and died the death I deserve to die. In it all, He made me His own.

Therefore good things - check that - great & marvelous things happen to lousy people, because I know the Gracious God of all who pours out undue blessing, because He loves me to extents I will never be able to explain. All I know, is blessings overflow. A lot.

Happenings...

Jan 21st 2011 - Meredith and I start dating (a strong testament to God's grace in and of itself since she is way - WAY - out of my league).
May 2011 - What appeared to be a secure future employment opportunity fell through. Vanished.
June 2011- I began to hunt for a real job, or as a friend called it, "a big boy job" ... It was not a bright prospect in this economy, as I soon found out.
July 14th 2011 - I received a call from folks at Virginia Tech, desiring to set up a webcam interview ... 15 minutes later I got an email from some folks in Missouri about flying me to their operation for an interview ... think: FREAKOUT!!!!
July 18th - Interview with Va Tech
July 21st - 6 month dating anniversary with Meredith!
July 23-24th 2011 - Initial trip to MO for an interview.
July 31 August 1st 2011 - Traveled to Va Tech for round two interview
August 2-3rd 2011 - Meredith and I fly to MO again for round two of interviews.
Shortly after these two trip the Lord opened doors for the Va Tech position to be the one I accepted.
AUGUST 5TH 2011- the woman of my dreams - or beyond my dreams said YES to MARRYING me!!! Meredith and I are engaged and set to be married in January 7th 2012 ... 50 weeks to the day of when we started dating.
And now it is August 21st, and in 31 hours or so I am set to leave Birmingham AL and move myself to Virginia Beach, VA ... for a while to come I imagine, and soon thereafter Mere will join me as we are married, and we begin our life together .. and i cannot wait!!!

Life has just happened. Its been a whirlwind & the ride has been amazing. All things consider, they have left me in need of catching my breath, because its been taken time & again this year as the Lord has shown Himself to be more & more amazing. And still in some sense, I know I am just at the tip of the iceberg, of God's great & amazing nature, and of life itself.

Moving forward, all I can think is, "I cannot wait! Let's do this!"

day trips

2011-05-27T00:59:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to throw it out there ... day trips are totally under-rated & need to be taken more seriously, & enjoyed more frequently! They are treated like the red-headed step child of weekend/week long backpacking trips, & are generally neglected. Even sometimes given a bad wrap.

Mere is done teaching for the year tomorrow!... So day trips are in store!

Little River Canyon? - Check
Sipsey? - Check
Desoto Falls? - Check
Cheaha? - Check
Locust Fork? - Check

Shall I go on? Those are just a few places I want to take her! I cant wait!

Day trip, I salute you & look forward to our coming days together!

I am sure there'll be some pics to go along with some hopefully awesome stories!

Past

2011-05-25T14:17:00.000-05:00

I am very mindful today, that when the past haunts, all we have - for those who have found their all-in-all and their certain, unwavering hope in Jesus Christ as Lord & Savior - is the hope of tomorrow, the hope of a future, & the hope of eternity where all faces, long streaked with tears, are forever tear-free & all the entangling aches & pains of yesterday are totally erased because all that will be before us is the glory of Christ Jesus, fully revealed in complete & full glory!

The pain of the past drives me to the foot of the cross of Christ, where all my hopes are (& must continually be), because as the pain of the past reminds me, I am a very fallen, desperate man capable of great sins, & therefore in need of a greater Savior! Thus, the Good News is the Gospel, because Jesus' capacity to forgive is greater than my capacity to sin - past, present, or future!

And so, as I consider the past, pushing on for today & tomorrow, in the words of the Avett Brothers, "Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be at least a little better than I've been so far" ... with the idea that the Christian life is not one of absolute perfection, although that is the desired end, but today & tomorrow are holy direction, not holy perfection. I am mindful of Paul's exhortation to push on past what is behind, striving to lay hold of whats ahead, "forgetting what lies behind & straining forward to what lies ahead."

Christ lies ahead! My eyes, my hopes are set on Him alone.

El Jardin {parte dos}

2011-05-15T15:06:00.000-05:00

The garden is slow to show lots of progress. Here is a bit of a check list...

El jardin es lenta para mostrar el progresso. Pero, aqui esta un lista de las vegetales con el progresso.

Our first radish!

Radishes/Rabano: great, almost ready to harvest {son bueno, casi lista para cosechar}.
Green beans/Frijoles verde: look good & are growing, no beans yet {estan creciendo, no hay frijloes todavia}.
Summer squash/Calabaza {?}: a degree of yellowing , but we're working on that, no fruit yet {esta amarillo, no hay frutas ahora}.
Basil & Cilantro/Albaca y Culantro: these were both re-sown, they are coming up prolifically now {los dos se volvieron a sembrar, hay un montone de estos}!
Green onions/Cebollas verde: initially we sowed these & transplanted them ({hey're so delicate/estan muy delicado}. Meredith & I sowed more in a permanent spot in the garden {al principo sebramos estos y transplantarlas, hemos sembrado más de un lugar permanente en el jardín}.
Tomatoes/Los tomates: our original round of tomatoes just kind of crapped out {both those we transplanted & those we did not}. go figure. we re-sowed these as well I guess we'll let them mature a bit more before we transplant them this time {los primeros tomates no son buenos, volvemos a la sembro tambien}.
Okra/Okra: its just kind of there. not much growth {simlpemente, estan alli, no un crecimiento mucho}.
Watermelon/Sandia: I need to dig & prep a hole outside of the garden to provide it adequate space to grow down the hill. we have two watermelon plants {necesito excavar un hueco afuera del jardin, porque sandia necesita una grad cantidad de espacio. tenemos dos}.
Carrots/Zanahorias: we just did not sow enough to begin with, so we sowed a lot ... should have lots of carrots {no tenemos muchas, entonces vamos a sembrar muchas mas}.
Peppers/Pimientos: we have a mystery hot pepper {3 of them}, jalapenos & bell peppers ... they're all a bit slow, but I think they'll pick up {tenemos una misterio pimiento picante, jalapenos, y pimientos dulce. son lentos ahora}.
Cantaloupe/Melon{?}: it did not even germinate, we sowed again {que no germinaron! hemos sembrado mas}.
Spinach & Lettuce/Espinaca y Lechuga: our spinach looks puny, we sowed more. the bibb lettuce & butterhead are struggling. we sowed more {es insignificante. son luchando. y uno tiempo mas, hemos sembrado mas de los dos.

That's what we have thus far. Here are some pictures. Enjoy! ...

Que es lo que tenemos en este momento. Aqui hay algunas fotos. Disfruta amigos!...

All our radishes!

Ready for harvest!!!

Cilantro seedlings.

Basil!

Green beans, lettuce & broccoli.

All the re-sown seeds!!!

Also, I think we are about to try our hand at strawberries. The plan is to take small plastic buckets, drill holes in the side, all around, fill it with soil, and plant the strawberries all around the outside of the bucket ... and as they grow they can just hang off the side for us to harvest them. Once these get going there will be pictures! I am excited about the potential, if the birds dont eat all of the buds (like last year)!

Tambien, pienso que nosotros tratamos producir las fresas. El plan es tomar cubos pequenos, con huecos en el lado, llebar con tierra, y plantar las fresas en el cubo. Entonces, cuando que crecer vamos a recogerlas.

Lastly, to my spanish speaking friends ... please let me know how my spanish is throughout this post. I did most of it myself, only using a translation aid for my lack of vocab. All the grammar is basically my own doing! So...let me know! Thanks!

Finalmente, para mis amigos que hablan espanol, por favor hagamelo saber como mi espanol en este post. Muchas gracias!

El Jardin

2011-04-27T22:24:00.003-05:00

Meredith and I have started what we hope will become a fairly significant garden! We are using a couple of raised beds, and a hillside bed we constructed. Our aim is several fold ...

To grow & produce our own organic & fresh veggies & fruits
To spend as little as possible & produce as much as possible
To produce sufficient amounts to be able to give some away

In Haiti, about 3" of topsoil which is extremely shallow

Having said that, we are seeking to use all organic techniques (as much as we can control). There is some real significance to organics, not to mention it is a simple way of making yourself mindful of the 100's of 1000's around the world who must garden organically simply by their God given places of life (where access to synthetics is limited or cost prohibitive). So, we are using various meals (ie: bone meal, blood meal, etc) for nutrient inputs, as well as using a live composting method (or trench composting), where basically we are burying what will become our compost before it is decomposed, then covering it with our layer of soil. This expedites decomposition, since its already in the soil, nutrients will be readily available as it decomposes. This is a technique often used to re-establish top soil in areas where erosion has degraded top soil layers. As the materials decompose, they re-introduce micro-organisms to enrich the soil again.

We began with seed (organic seeds, to the best of our knowledge), simply because it is so much more fun to see entire plants come from something as small as a seed! Also, purchasing seed is much less expensive than purchasing pre-grown plants. Further, nursery grown plants are almost always produced utilizing synthetic inputs.

We sowed 19 different plants or varieties of plants. We have had about 90% germination rate, with only our cantaloupe & basil not germinating. We've sown more basil, &are going to sow cantaloupe again to see if we have better results. The repertoire of plants is as follows: basil, broccoli, carrots, cantaloupe, cilantro, green beans, green onions, bibb lettuce, okra, a generic hot pepper (not organic), Jalapeños, Bell peppers, radishes (a great little spice to a salad), spinach, summer squash, sunflowers (for fun and beauty), Beefsteak tomatoes & Yellow Pear tomatoes, and watermelon!

1st half of the hillside garden, planted w/ 12 of the 19 plants

Transplanted radishes!

Extra green beans, lettuce, & broccoli

A raised bed for cilantro & basil.

Haiti - Part II

2011-04-11T13:44:00.000-05:00

Outside the 1st clinic.

While in Haiti, we visited 3 of the 13 feeding centers to provide basic medical care for the people of the local communities. This is something that was - at the time - totally foreign to me. I have never participated in a health clinic, and has actually in some sub-conscience way decided that I never would, since I was not remotely close to being a medical professional of any sort & because I have no immune system. I was wrong.

The clinic grew more and more "rural" as the week went on. I say "rural" because they were all in a remote part of Haiti, but the latter two especially were off the national highway that most of our travels in country centered around. The latter two exhibited a totally different set of ailments as the first one.

Maybe the gentlest old man I've ever met

Several passages of Scripture filled my mind and heart as I witnessed the need and at time desperation of these hurting people for a simply touch of love, look of concern.

Initially I looked upon all the people I saw with reference to how Jesus perceived a massive crowd,

And Jesus went throughout all the cities & villages, teaching in their synagogues & proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom & healing every disease & every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few, therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send laborers into His harvest."

An old man with chest congestion

Shortly after that I was a bit convicted actually about my attitude & subsequent view of these people. I looked upon them - meagerly as Christ did - but more so as I actually saw them. My attitude came across a bit haughty as I sat later that day considering this passage and my attitude. I viewed them as needing me, our team. After all, we were the educated Americans and we had a doctor with us. So! My heart was broke and changed quickly. And the compassion I thought I had felt for them gave way to true, Christ-like compassion & an aching heart for them. Afterward, they appeared to me not as sheep needing a shepherd (although this is an excellent analogy), but as broken, survival-driven, hurting people in desperate need of a supernaturally powerful God, who alone can heal all their hurts and pains, who alone can redeem them.

Later, an obvious passage flooded my mind, "Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." As my attitude was changing, so my view of the people at each clinic was changing. Nothing changes that they need Christ most, above all more than any medicine or vitamins we could pass out. That does not change. What changed was what I saw in them. Christ's words here are clear, "you did it to me" ... hard to mistake what he meant. So, I realized as I watch a people in need gather around at the 3 centers, I was witnessing the identification of my Savior with the people considered the least in all the world! I realized, that in some way, I was witnessing the face of

Each member of this family had some ailment

my Savior in these people, for as surely as He said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." Christ is with those who are ailing, and these people were & are ailing. So, instead of seeing them as needing me, I saw them as ministers to me.

And just the other day, as I was reading in Mark 3, I understood the desperation of people the world over and throughout all time - it does not change. Hurting people are hurting. Period.

Jesus withdrew with his disciples to the sea, and a great crowd followed, from Galilee & Judea & Jerusalem & Idumea & from beyond the Jordan & from around Tyre & Sidon. When the great crowd heard all that he was doing, they came to him. And he told his disciples to have a boat ready for him because of the crowd, lest they crush him, for he had healed many, so that all who had diseases pressed around him, to touch him.

3rd clinic where the people were pressing in

This screams desperation to me. People living in a fallen world are always desperate for something, only sometimes that know it & other times they do not know it. Ask a disease stricken person, they are keenly aware of their need for healing and thus are vividly desperate for healing and help. The above passage says "so that all who had disease pressed around him," because they knew that if they could only touch him they were healed! Like the woman with the hemorrhage. The Haitians we sought to serve with basic medical attention were desperate too! They knew we could help, by God's grace, and that we had resources they did not, nor would ever have access to. Thus, they cam to us. At one clinic in particular, this passage has a new mental image attached to it. The Haitian people at the 3rd clinic were swarming ... the crowd never grew unmanageable (size-wise), but it also never shrunk. For every person we saw, another showed up. We had so many that we eventually - because supplies were lacking - had to dose out vermox (de-worming medicine) and vitamins to all, and leave it at that. Throughout the afternoon there, we repeatedly had to ask them to back up because they were continually pressing in upon us (not like they did Christ, but it helps me understand this passage better).

The 2nd clinic

And with each patient, we prayed. Often we were able to ask if they knew Christ. If they said no, we asked if they wanted to or not. So, the Lord opened many doors, to many hearts. For all that I am grateful. And from hundreds of hurting people, I learned how Christ has and does view me, and how he has great compassion upon me and all who call upon His name.

HAITI - Part I

2011-04-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

So, I am going to share the public (ie: less personal & private) aspects of my "processsing" from my recent travels in Haiti.

This way to the Matthew 28 orphanage

I visited Haiti for 9 days, working with a local ministry there (Bohoc, Haiti), Matthew 28. It was started & is currently facilitated by two American men, but all day-to-day operations are overseen by an entirely Haitian staff. Matthew 28 has two purposes - 1) Share the gospel & glory of Christ with all in the Central Plateau of Haiti, & 2) To care for orphans in the area. And to my best understanding their priorities - although closely knitted together - do go in that order. If they are caring for orphans & the community at large without sharing the gospel, then they have become obsolete (I don't think thats too harsh a statement). I would say their priorities are right on target. They are involved in a number of tangible means of ministry, two dominant ones are the orphanage housing 69 children, and supporting 13 feeding center's which provide 50 children (ages 6 & under) with 4 meals a week. Each center is connected and lead by a local pastor, so the gospel and good news of Christ is intrinsically interwoven into each feeding centers operations. Another ministry avenue (which is where I am involved) is producing tilapia to provide much needed protein supplementation to the children at the orphanage & families in particular need. So, thats Matthew 28.

A desolated landscape, reflecting a desolated people

Lesson I

Don't ever under-estimate God. If you know me, then you know my "health situation" ... that I have Cystic Fibrosis, Diabetes, and am the recipient of a double lung transplant 7+ years ago. These impact my daily life in seemingly meager ways, because God has provided for me to be supernaturally healthy on this side of transplant, for which I am continuously grateful. As such, He has provided me with opportunities to live and travel internationally in the last 1 & 1/2 years. This is bit surprising since I am also immunocompromised (ie: I deliberately suppress my immune system because of my transplant), thus (supposedly) being more susceptible to sickness. Remember, supernaturally healthy!

In light of that, I have to be mindful of what I expose myself to in diligent efforts to be a good steward of my physical gift of life. So, upon learning that my doctors gave me approval to Haiti for this trip, I was thrilled. I told them about the living condition, the disease exposure, etc ... They replied, "Take some extra water purification tablets." That was it, a major shock to me.

SIDE NOTE - I don't worry about my health, a gracious outpouring from the Lord. I simply am not concerned, because I know the Lord is sovereign over my life. So, I am responsible with my lungs, but I am also going to go - without hesitation - to any location I am certain the Lord is calling me to. He made it very certain that I was to be in Haiti, another story for another time. So I went, with great expectations & huge anticipation & with a sense of grand adventure, for God Almighty is full of wildness and adventure!!!

I arrived in Haiti on Saturday the 26th of March. After a conversation that night about the reality & presence of diseases (malaria, typhoid, cholera, etc) in the area & in all of Haiti, I grew a bit reserved and contemplative. Come Sunday, I was actually fairly freaked out. My thoughts went a bit like this, "O what have I done? Have I made a mistake, acted foolishly, following my hard-to-wrangle sense of adventure? Did I mistake generosity for an act of God? Did I fail to adequately describe this to my doctors? I cannot get sick! I cannot go home to Meredith or my family sick! What the hell?" ... It was a jumbled diarrhea thought process.

This is the first time I have been legitimately concerned about my health and what risks I was exposing myself to. And I am well aware that my life does not only affect me. In God's providence, many many folks from all over the Southeast and from different parts of the world have been a part of my life. If I do something foolish, to result in sickness/death then it affects all of them too. Thats a big responsibility to carry! Like they say, there is a first time from everything. I did not like this first.

Notice the clouds

Before I knew what I had done, I had second guessed God's good & gracious providential hand. I had under-estimated His power, might, and sovereignty. Going into this I knew (& know now) that He had absolutely ordained this trip in my life. No question! And all of a sudden, with a subtle lie - which I believed - I had undercut God & His faithfulness. The Bible is clear about God's faithfulness, "Your steadfast love is great above the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the clouds" (Ps 108:4), which is to say, His faithfulness knows no end!

And in His faithfulness, prior to leaving He had given me Colossians 3 to meditate on throughout my trip to Haiti. As I referenced back to chapter 3 (which I highly recommend) I read verse 3, "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Nothing else needed to be said or explained. Christ had dealt a death blow to my doubt and faithlessness. As He has said, "It is finished." It was finished again - not the same thing - but my doubt & concern was laid waste. As it was slain & fell dead as a vitally wounded beast, it gave way to the light of life, the power of God, the power of Christ who has defeated death at His resurrection never to taste death again, having once and for all tasted death for all who shall call upon His name.

New life flooded my being.

Not only was I at peace, but I was exuding confidence. I was at peace if I contracted an illness; but more so I was confident that since God had seen me to Haiti in the ways He did, that He would - in Christ - see me home to Meredith, my family, and friends to report upon His goodness, the deep despair of Haiti, and the Hope of nations, the Hope of Haiti, CHRIST JESUS! Because my life is hidden with Christ in God nothing can touch me - even death has no stake or claim upon me, or any other who has been dipped in the precious blood of the Lion & the Lamb. Psalm 91 says, "A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you," which is shortly followed by my life verse, "For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways." (vv7 & 11).

So, did I encounter God in Haiti? O hell yeah I did, in ways I never expected, this being the first of them. So I rejoice to share this with you. I commend to you my Gd, the Almighty whose faithfulness reaches to the clouds ... and with my commendation, I offer my greatest gratitude and praise to the Lord, for I have tasted afresh His presence and love.

Transplant Travel...

2011-03-23T22:27:00.000-05:00

So this is a fairly accurate depiction of what it looks like for me to travel abroad (or domestically for that matter). I just thought it was an interesting growth or progression of medicines.

Basics: Zpac, Allergy pills, AD, & tylenol

Add: All morning meds + malaria meds

Add: All am & pm doses & diabetic supplies

Miracles in Nature

2011-03-22T15:15:00.001-05:00

At the Alabama trailhead

This past Tuesday/Wednesday, I went hiking with Jonathan Weaver (think brother) and my lady, Meredith Hart at the Walls of Jericho in north Alabama/Tennessee. First, this place is amazing. If you live in Alabama or Tennessee or in the Southeast US, I recommend highly you go as soon as possible. It is hard to believe that this place exist in lowly Alabama. It does!!!

As we set out from Birmingham, we asked the Lord to meet with us while we were out in His creation, experiencing Him by the workmanship of His hands. For me, I tend to encounter God when I am out in the woods, be it climbing, camping, hiking, etc. Give me the woods, and I am sure I will have a distinct & worshipful experience with the Lord. Of course, put me in the woods with two other stout believers, & you can just imagine the fellowship, laughter, & joy to be shared.

First water sighting!

Well, God showed Himself powerful in a number of ways. In some expected ways & in some highly unexpected ways. The beauty surrounding us as we hiked was remarkable. In late winter/early spring in Alabama, the woods are gray. Drab and gray, yet distinctly pretty. Early in the hike we realized that we were to be visited the entire two days by green highlights of moss, standing out against the gray back drop of the woods! Then we came upon the first indications of the water we were expecting to see in the canyon, it came in the form of a hillside creek. As we descended the 1000 ft+ to the bottom of the canyon, we crossed the 30 ft wide Hurricane Creek. The water has a lagoon green tint to it, so pretty and very unique.

Log bridge crossing @ Hurricane Creek

Among the natural features around us, in creation, it was impossible not feel as though we'd all been put in our place, so to speak. The Walls of Jericho are deemed the Grand Canyon of the South, and for good reason. With canyon walls staggering to 200-250 ft at places (maybe even 300ft), you cannot help but feel the smallness of your entire being in light of the massiveness of God's handiwork all around. Once you're in the back of the canyon & the walls surround you all around, you a vividly made aware that you are powerless, as you witness the force and power of the flowing water that has for centuries carved its way through the rocks, creating features that appear so unearthly, natural features and shapes I have never seen before! Its hard to describe what I felt as I witnessed where the water had tunneled its way under one entire part of the rock feature we were all clambering over, then to see it punching through the rock in no meager way. There were even spots where the rock had been so eroded away that the water was coming through a hole in the middle of the rock face. Not too mention the pure white of the limestone all around. It was all simply amazing.

Looking toward the back of the canyon, at the 180 degrees of rock and water!

Later on, during the evening after we had finished our backpacker meals (and Left Hand Fade to Black, black lager that we took with us), my insulin pump decided to quit working. For various reasons I have had trouble with it in recent months. In the 6-8 times its been problematic like this, I have never been able to fix it. Every time I had to go back & change out of the parts & re-inject it. So, to see the screen flash "NO DELIVERY" was not exactly encouraging. My first thought was, "Wow, I dropped the ball this time."

Sitting above the lower falls, looking at the river's beginning

See, as I was packing the night before, I did not pack any backup pump supplies (I know better). And the Lord knows I know better, and He in His faithfulness was quick to remind me that I need always pack backup supplies. He did remind me. I ignored the reminder as I was packing. It was easy to justify not taking extra supplies for a single night trip, plus it was that much less bulk & weight (which is a lousy excuse cause it is not weighty or bulky). So, I ignored the warnings of the Spirit. Thus, as we sat, & I read my pump, I knew I had totally screwed up.

For clarification sake, when my pump does not work I do not get insulin, which means my sugar will spike because of an intake of carbohydrates (Insulin is given to decrease blood sugar levels with each meal and throughout the day). Without insulin, blood sugars can be dangerously high and have severe consequences. So...

Sitting there explaining this to Mere & Weaves I began to realize - yet again - that my decisions not only affect me but those with me too! I learned this in no uncertain ways, in hard ways. As I sat there fooling with it, hoping to make Mere & Weaves think I could fix it, I realized I was knee deep. So I started thinking, "I will just eat the bare minimum and drink water like and fiend!" Time passed, and for various reasons - probably obvious - I was prompted to pray, to ask the Lord to fix it, recognizing that He is not only the masterful Creator of all the natural world, but also Lord over all man's technology!!!

As Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 2, God is faithful even when we are faithless. He was faithful & good that night, as He always is. About 15 minutes after praying, confessing my sin of ignoring His promptings, & asking Him out of His sheer goodness to fix it ... HE DID! It simply started working. Nothing I did fixed it, but then God just made it work! In a strange twist of irony my sugars then bottomed out, because in my attempts to fix it, when it worked I received a significant dose of insulin. So, to not pass out from low sugars, I had another beer (all carbs) and some more food. Then we went to bed, for a restful & peaceful night's renewal.

Point is, God is really good. He can be taken at every last word He has spoken to us in Christ and in the Scriptures. James is clear that all good comes from God, and this never changes because He never changes (James 1:17). I experienced in a fresh and new way the other night, for which I am grateful for. To think, the Creator-God of all the universe would be so attentive to my needs - lowly Adam - and to fix them in perfect timing and in His distinct and good ways. So yes, we encountered God out there. He made us to encounter Him and I am alive most when I meet with Him - be it at church, the solitude of my room in prayer, or in the woods ... but especially in the woods!!!

The Giving Tree

2011-03-07T17:04:00.000-06:00

I am sure you know this story. Its a children's classic. Its moving, and a vivid picture of what love is. This book moves me. I have not read it in years, but I know it well enough without need of reading it to know how I cherish it. Its simply wonderful. It is heart warming.

However, I think there is a darkness to it, that must be addressed. Why? Because the tree gives its entire self away. The tree sacrifices itself for the boy. From a tree perspective, I would assume this story is a tear-jerker, and full of angst! But darkness does not equate to bad, or any such thing.

You see, I cannot read this book and not be reminded of One who gave Him entire self away, who sacrificed Himself for me, who died at His own expense for my own benefit! You see, this book to me drives me to the cross of Christ, "...'twas on that old rugged cross Jesus suffered & died, to pardon & sanctify me."

Jesus gave everything, Philippians 2 speaks of this stating, "Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." And in Galatians 3:13 Paul tells us, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us - for it is written, 'Cursed is everyone who hanged on a tree.'" Jesus gave it all away! That is why He calls us with all authority to give our lives away for His name sake!

It is for this reason that I am grateful for the book The Giving Tree ... it is the ordinary in life driving me to the supernatural, causing me to face the urgency of eternity and thus causing my heart to worship the eternal & holy Creator-God who in His very own goodness - on no account of man's merit - offered to redeem a creation that spat on Him!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is exalted forever and ever, amen!

Do you want to be a parent? Read this first!!!

2011-03-06T08:41:00.000-06:00

This is one of the funniest things I have read recently!!! And I am not even reomotely close to being a parent. But for those of you who already are, man I hope this provides you with a laugh, cause if this is true, you need one!!! Enjoy.

LESSON ONE:

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home and pick up the paper.

4. Read it for the last time.

LESSON TWO:

Before you actually have children, find a couple who does and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in life you will have all the answers.

LESSON THREE:

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static {or some other equally obnoxious sound} playing loudly. Eat cold food with one hand for dinner.

2. At 10PM, put the bag down gently, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. Since you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM, make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Quietly sing songs in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work, go to work, work hard and be productive.

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

LESSON FOUR:

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jelly onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book and/or photo album. Destroy it.

6. Pour milk all over your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

LESSON FIVE:

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allotted for this - all morning.

LESSON SIX:

Forget the BMW and buy a minivan. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway all spotless and shiny. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it on the glove compartment. Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat making sure you really take the time to shove them as far as you can down into the cracks. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor and proceed to smash them full force with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

LESSON SEVEN:

Go to your local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a preschool child. {A full grown goat is an excellent choice}. If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. No leashes allowed. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

LESSON EIGHT:

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half of the remaining into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a 9-month old baby.

LESSON NINE:

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy!" repeatedly. Important: no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required. Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a car ride with a toddler.

LESSON TEN:

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve or elbow while playing the "mommy" tape from Lesson Nine above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Remember that a sense of humor is the most important thing you will need when you become a parent!

Discipline

2011-03-02T14:26:00.000-06:00

I am in the middle of trying to figure out discipline, as in personal-discipline or self-control. I do not only mean in spiritual disciplines, but in every facet of life.

I am not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime in the last 2 & 1/2+ years I threw discipline out the window. Not sure when or where, but I know now it is gone. Undiscipline (I am using this word even though spell check says its wrong) is not a quality to be sought after. Now some of my friends would tell you that I am hard on myself. I am. But this has nothing to do with that. We are called to lead orderly, productive, & disciplined lives. For sometime now, I have found that mine is not. So, this matters & it is not simply me being hard on myself. I am under the full conviction of the Lord that I must master discipline, or rather be mastered by undiscipline.

The questions that have been raised in my heart & mind thus far concerning this matter are as follows:

In what areas of life is discipline lacking? Why is it lacking?
Does lack of discipline tend toward sin? What sin(s)?
What is the role of appetites? Am I mastering these appetites, or rather are they mastering me?

These questions are not comfortable to consider, & perhaps the answers even less so. But, I am under the strong conviction that the Lord in Scripture has a lot to say about personal discipline and self-control. Let's take a look.

I Peter 1:13

"Therefore preparing your minds for action & being sober-minded, set you hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ"

I Corinthians 9:27

"But I discipline my body & keep it under control, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified"

Hebrews 12:1 & 2

"...let us lay aside every weight, & sin which clings so closely & let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder & perfecter of our faith"

I Thessalonians 5:6

"So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake & be sober"

I Peter 5:8

"Be sober-minded, be watchful [because] your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour"

2 Timothy 2:3-6

"Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops"

Matthew 16:24

"Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself & take up his cross & follow me"

So I think it is clear, that God has in mind that we are to be well disciplined people, which is not to say that we cannot have fun, but that our priorities are straight and clear, that we are single-minded in pursuit of Christ & His glory through our lives.

I do not have answers to all of the questions above, as of yet. This will be a process, no doubt.

How does discipline benefit you life? How does undiscipline harm you?

Emotionalism = Hype = Bad News Bears

2011-02-28T16:45:00.001-06:00

In recent months & days, I have conversed numerous times about the problem of emotionalism as a central theme in churches' musical worship, & in the realm of Christian "worship" music in general! To call a particular thing, such as music, "worship" is a problem in & of itself, but thats a bit different then what I want to address here.

This phenomenon is not new. JI Packer in Evangelism & the Sovereignty of God states (in reference to mass evangelism events), "...the tendency to indulge in long-drawn out wheedling for decisions & deliberate use of luscious music to stir sentiment, tends to produce 'conversions' which are simply psychological & emotional upheavals, & not the fruit of spiritual conviction & renewal at all." He wrote this book in 1961, so emotionalism as a means of "encountering" God has been used for at least 50 years, & I presume longer. Granted, in the context that Packer is referring to it was the big tent revival meetings, but the point remains.

What gets me, is the same problematic appeal to emotionalism is made in many highly respected churches today as well. My church during college was - in my opinion - notorious for long-winded "altar calls." A classic Baptist song would be played, at a begrudgingly slow tempo, at times lasting at least five minutes, maybe up to 10 (although I never timed it). Some of the songs were Have Thine on Way Lord, I Surrender All, & the like. Please do not get me wrong, I love these songs, in the right context!

My church now follows in an emotional channel of worship. The music is big, loud, up beat with melodies & rhythms that move the emotions of the congregation. I am not claiming the worship team sits around planning how to best pull emotional heart strings during the musical worship time, but the songs they choose are inherently that way. To clarify, I am beyond grateful for the talent & hearts of those who lead my current church in our musical worship. They do a fantastic job!

However, there remains a but attached to all this. It is simply not right, the emotional appeals that is. In my own experience, I find often I leave ready to conquer the world for Christ ... only then to experience the inevitable let down of an emotional high. Now, if after the preaching I am stoked & ready to conquer for Christ, I am far last weary of encountering an emotional high, because in the midst of challenging & convicting sermons, its quite a bit more difficult to illicit such emotional responses, although not impossible.

One reason I am opposed to emotionalism in worship is, as Packer mentioned, it can illicit a false repentance, a false turning from a life of sin to Jesus, a false conviction & conversion. False responses to the Gospel of Christ are the last thing any follower of Christ desires, so I believe. Also, let me clarify, NOT ALL emotional responses are "psychological & emotional upheavals." I presume often times many emotional responses are true responses, if those emotions are brought about by the pin-point convicting work of the Holy Spirit, who in light of Christ reveals to men and women their true estate before perfect righteousness! But if it is the music that spurs on the emotional response, then I am weary.

Lastly, if emotional appeals cause people to worship in such a way that is not entirely truthful, or honest ... then is it not against Scripture? John wrote "God is spirit, & those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 4:24), so is there a conflict here? Maybe that is a bit of a stretch, but at the very least it is thought provoking.

What do you think? What is your experience with emotionalism in church and in worship?

Reminders

2011-02-25T11:07:00.000-06:00

I am not writing this for sympathy sake, but because the Lord has offered me a reminder these last two days about my life, and the realities of things in my life.

I am sick. Not so sick to be in the least concerned, but enough so to feel like crap. You know, run of the mill stuff - stuffy head, cough, fever, achey all over - which all add up to make me feel bad.

However, instead of giving in to the temptation to be placid & "rest" all day (which at times feels like a lousy excuse to be lazy), I am going to attempt by God's grace to think hard all day, to use my mind and heart as I consider His word, commune in prayer, & read another book(s), & thus I think make the best use of this day! I think this plan will strike a distinct balance between resting & making use of these evil days as Paul writes, "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil" (Eph 5:15-16). So that is my plan for the day.

Now, here are the real lessons.

First, one of my friends who is also a double lung transplant recipient is laid up in the hospital with pneumonia, which is a fairly dangerous place to be (think compromised immune system). I am not there, & have not been close since I was transplanted, & by God's grace I pray I won't ever be.

Second, I have brothers & sisters in Christ around the world who are being tortured for following Christ, who are proclaiming to the face of their persecutors that they are complete in Christ & ready for death! Thats bold! So, my prayer is that this fever & achey back make me mindful of my brothers & sisters who are bearing the death of Christ, who are filling up the cup of His suffering so that He might inherit his reward, mean, women, & children from all ethnos. the world over! Further, I pray that my achey body reminds me of Christ Himself, His suffering - both physical & spiritual - that He bore on behalf of me and all men in all places throughout all times!

So, in light of this, my fever-ish and achey body does not seem like that big a deal. And if somehow by having a virus, or cold or whatever it is I can glorify God, then so be it. That sounds like a really bold statement to make, but in light of God's grace which is endless and infinite, its not really.

So, perhaps life is fragile, which is why we need be much more mindful of eternity's nearness!

Why I Blog

2011-02-23T23:15:00.003-06:00

G is for Goodness

2011-02-15T15:28:00.000-06:00

Have you ever found yourself in a season of life when you were just staggering backward trying to comprehend God's goodness? When you gazed upon your life, & in awe, fell upon your face to cry out to God in gratitude flowing from the deepest parts of your soul? When words like whoa, wow, overflowing, over-running, thankful (-ness), grateful were the words that most filled your vocabulary? The first two of those in response to God's work in your life, the second two describing your heart, affections, & the cup of life given you, & the last two being themes of your prayers & conversations.

This is where I am, right now. Needless to say, its a wondrous season to be found in, & I am so amazed & blown away by God, how exceedingly gracious & good He is, especially in light of me not even remotely coming close to deserving anything except hell & death!!! The Bible is very clear, "Every good gift & every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change" (James 1:17), which is to say - ANY & ALL good experienced in this life is the overflow of the work of Christ in redeeming men to God! God is good. And in a reconciled relationship with Him, through Christ, men experience the just & holy Creator of all in an intimate way!

Needless to say, the epitome of all interaction with God in relationship with Him begins & ends at the cross. If the cross is not there, then we have no redemption. But, if the cross is central - & IT IS - then we experience the heavenly blessings of God here & now, for the Kingdom is now (& not yet)!

My life recently has been a reflection of these blessing in very vivid ways, for which, my heart if overflowing with gratitude & thanksgiving to God.

- A job, where not only is there mutual encouragement & challenge among brothers & sisters in Christ, there is so much opportunity to be sharing with those outside the covenant, to speak words of grace & love to them, to introduce them to my Savior & Lord.

- A calling in life that is so far beyond me, that when it is fulfilled, all will look on & say, "Only by God!" And right now, I am in the midst of witnessing the formation of the actual application of this calling. Its a process & not all at once, but it beginning!

- Opportunities literally falling into my lap for overseas work - albeit short-term for now - I am more than grateful for it. Once I understood the Lord was calling me to settle in the Ham for a while, I assumed that meant no travel. WRONG!!! And what a great way to be wrong! He knows my desires for overseas experiences, & He is giving them to me in His perfect & good timing!

- This is the biggest & best of all thats happening right now. Her name is Meredith!!! I don't know that I need to say anything else, but I will. Its companionship. The Lord crossed our paths a little while ago, & from day one it seems as God has simply been knitting our lives together, & I can speak for both of us, we are supremely grateful to God for His goodness in our lives, for the richness each has brought into the other's life.

God knows what we need, when we need it. He is Goodness. O God, be magnified in the grateful heart you have placed in me, & may my lips be quick to share the wonder of who you are with all I see!!! Indeed your love is everlasting.

Hope of Gentiles

2011-02-09T10:35:00.000-06:00

Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world

- Eph 2:12 -

This verse by itself is the worst thing a Gentile could ever hear. Its a proclamation of death, without room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding, it is too blunt and straightforward for that to occur. Consider what Christ said in John 16:33, "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." In light of this, we already know apart from Christ no one stands chance in this world. Note the first point of the above proclamation is "separated from Christ," so, good luck in this world Gentiles! Christ also states, "Before Abraham was, I AM." Here, Christ tells us in no uncertain terms that He and God are one. So, if Gentiles are separated from Christ that means they are without God as well. Considering John 16:33, its intriguing that the proclamation states, "without God in the world," as if to rub salt into a wound. Needless to say, none of the above matters in light of eternity, where those Gentiles who are "alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise" will forever and ever face the full force wrath of God, paying the penalty of not turning to Christ for all eternity. Thats means in 10 million years, they will still be paying for their sin.

But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ

- Eph 2:13 -

HOPE

Notice, in verse 12 it states those who are separated from Christ are without hope. Now in verse 13, hope is born and not only that, but it is an overwhelming and conquering hope, because its name is JESUS CHRIST!!! He has indeed overcome the world, and not just that but sin and death too. He is able to bring near those who are far off. Thing is, today this applies to all men, women, and children; not solely to Gentiles.

My Jewish brethren, O please awake to the truth of the Sacrificial Lamb of God, Jesus! O Muslim brethren, please awake to the Lordship of the greatest Prophet of the Qur'an! O men of all nations turn from emptiness and conceitedness and find in Christ the forgiveness of sin through faith by His grace and mercy poured out on the cross before a Holy God who demands righteousness, based on His own righteousness! Find the great wealth of life in living to bring glory and honor to the Most High God, for in His glory we find our ultimate meaning, purpose, and satisfaction! He is good and gracious, but He is just and holy as well; therefore sin cannot and will not go unpunished! Either we acknowledge - by God's grace - that Christ is sufficient to pay the ransom on our souls, or we will pay that ransom for all eternity in hell bearing the full force or God's unending wrath. Annihilation will never come.

Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

Instead

2011-02-06T14:34:00.008-06:00

Instead of an outward performance based "faith," we allow God to move & work in our hearts via His love, grace, and might to create in us the outworking of His love in real & tangible demonstrations of His love. What if we did that, if Christ-followers gave up on self and cried out for mercy to God, for Him to move in His people - the Church - that we might be the hands and feet of Christ to the world? I simply ask, what if?

Jon Foreman has condensed this thought really well! It's his song Instead of a Show...

I hate all your show & pretense

The hypocrisy of your praise

The hypocrisy of your festivals

I hate all your show

Away with your noisy worship

Away with your noisy hymns

I stop up my ears when you're singin' 'em

I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood of justice

An endless procession of righteous living, living

Instead let the be a flood of justice

Instead of a show

Your eyes are closed when you're prayin'

You sing out along with the band

You shine up your shoes for services

There's blood on your hands

You turned your back on the homeless

And the ones that don't fit your plan

Quit playin' religion games

There's blood on your hands

Instead let there be a flood of justice

An endless procession of righteous living, living

Instead let the be a flood of justice

Instead of a show

I hate all your show

Let's argue this out
If your sins are blood red
Let's argue this out
You be one of the clouds
Let's argue this out
Quit fooling around

Give love to the one's who can't love at all
Give hope to the ones who've no hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can't stand at all

I hate all your show (4x)

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show

If it hits home, then I think its probably true. What is your response? What does it reveal about your spiritual life? I know I am working through it, and by God's grace, my life will be a flood of justice, an endless procession of righteousness, and no longer a light-hearted, cavalier show for or to God.

Homemade Aquaponic System - Update

2011-02-02T14:44:00.001-06:00

Not much has changed with my system. Still no fish. Bummer. But, I have adjusted several aspect of the growbeds, or more precisely, the bell siphons. The timing is perfect now!

Initially I had 1/2" standpipes, with a 1" bell pipe on each, and a 2" gravel guard around each bell siphon (see picture). Several problems arose from this set up. Because the gravel guard was so tight fitting, it meant the gravel was, basically, right next to the bell siphon. This equated to not much air available to break the siphon. Thus, the siphon eventually reached an equilibrium with the input flow rate.

Now, I have cut the height of the standpipes about a 1/2" below the surface level of the pea gravel grow media. I have also replaced the 2" guard with a 3" guard! This pushed the gravel back a bit allowing air to flow straight down to the siphon and break it, making my grow beds fill up again, & again, & again. Thus, its finally an ebb and flow, as opposed to an ebb (once ) and then flow (continuously).

Not the space between the bell pipe & the gravel guard

Sown: Basil (front), Cilantro (2nd row), peppers (3rd) & bibb lettuce (2nd grow bed)

Cilantro babies (prior to adjusting stand pipe height).

I sowed a few cilantro seeds early on, as well as basil and peppers. About two weeks later I sowed some Butterhead lettuce seeds. Two days ago I sowed the remaining spaces in both growbeds. Now I have got to get fish! I have some connections to get some tilapia for free! But first the system is due a heater ... tilapia don't care for 62oF water.

The above was written a weeks ago.

As of five days ago, I bought an aquarium heater. Water temperature is now 72oF! So tilapia are on the horizon! More to come.

Failure

2011-01-31T13:08:00.001-06:00

Before I begin, let me just say ... if any of the following sounds good, or as if I have grown some in the Lord, or as I am growing (all of which I hope are the case) ... If that be the case, its by the GRACE of GOD alone through CHRIST!

I am recognizing more and more insights into how I function as a fallen human being, and as a Child of God. I am, by God's grace alone, recognizing the cycles that flow from sin, do not have to flow. Let me explain. I am to the point where, once I sin I readily know there to be two options.

First, I can flee in cowardice from God, not owning my sin, not admitting my wrong, not acknowledging Christ's lordship which demands repentance and instead run wholeheartedly into sin. I say 'wholeheartedly' because I do not honestly think there is any other way of willfully participating in sin. If you know you have sinned, know what you ought to do afterward, and don't ... can it be anything else than wholehearted rebellion?

- OR -

Second, I can humble myself before the Lord, by His grace at work in this corrupted heart of mine and throw myself upon His mercy and plead forgiveness. Thing is, there is no real need to plead, because in Christ mercy and pardon have already been purchased. God's mercy and pardon do not change on account of my sin or your sin, they simply are. Just as God is, all of what flows from Him (in this case mercy and pardon), they are. That is not to say that I am not pleading, because I am. I feel pleading is the place a humble heart goes. Nor am I saying that I can simply choose to be humble before God. Its a battle, spiritual, requiring the slaying of self, pride, and ambition; trusting that God will honor a feeble heart's desire to find humility at the throne.

This is the place I find myself today. Its not good to be here, but its good to know that God's arm is indeed not too short to save anyone, even me! "Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save, or His ear dull, that it cannot hear" (Isa 59:1). So, with these lips I utter His praise, that He is continually saving me, to make me reflect more of Christ!

God's Faithfulness

2011-01-30T19:57:00.001-06:00

My words will fall utterly shy to do even the slightest hint of justice to the subject at hand. Yet, I must share some of my recent experiences in which I have been vividly reminded of God's unyielding faithfulness. His word states, "If we are faithless, He remains faithful" (2 Tim 2:13). Further, the psalmist declares, "As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me" (40:11). This is my theme.

Recently I have repeatedly stated, "The last two years have been [some of] the hardest years of my life spiritually..." And to some extent its exactly true. Difficult times always appear to be worse than they truly are while in the midst of them. On the other side, we look back and think, "Wow, that was hard, but this side is SO worth it." I am not there yet, but feel as I am moving quickly that direction.

Through a number of events, I yielded to complacency, an undisciplined lifestyle, and to a general sense of spiritual apathy. These things all combined together are a severe blow to anyone's spiritual life. Add the stress of some intense schooling and living abroad for a bit, and it was intensified ... heaped on and on. My decision making process metamorphosed into one by which all decisions were made for comfort sake, for ease sake. In a sense, to sooth the stress and help me to forget the burden of my own willful neglect of eternity, of others, and of the Lord. I am not saying that I turned my back on God - not entirely. I kept a distant and cautious relationship going. I said to God via action, "I will turn to you when I do not know what else to do, or where else to turn. I will turn to you when things get bad enough." That is a bold attitude to have. Consider, this is the God of creation, who by nature of being Creator, has all prerogatives to my soul, my life. And even in this, He remains faithful.

Side Note: I can only imagine the "big picture" of my life, of eternity (& the blip my life would be in that span) that God knows and constantly sees. I wonder if by knowing that its a season, that He is gracious and merciful to allow it to continue?

My last year and half at Auburn was hard. By the nature of the work I was doing, I found myself completely distanced from close community and for that matter, any degree of involvement at church. If anyone is to be at fault here, its me, recalling my decision making abilities during this time. On top of that, I fed myself whatever I wanted - food and metaphorically as well. In the physical sense, my decisions showed themselves harmful after a visit to an endocrinologist (a diabetes doctor). Some of the various levels concerning diabetes were monstrously out of control, in direct correlation to my decision making inability!

Spiritually? I have been reaping the consequences of these decision for a long time. And I know the cold hard truth of the matter is, quite frankly, there are more consequences to experience, as there always is with sin. I am not talking about punishment because, GLORY BE TO GOD IN CHRIST, in Jesus my punishment has been removed, poured out on Christ is His utter beauty and perfection! I cannot thank Him enough for what He has done in my heart. But consequences, they remain, as the natural outworking of choices. You make good choices and bad ones. I make good choices and bad ones. God says, "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up" (Gal 6:7-9). Point is, we will reap the consequences of our choices. If good, then good. If bad, then bad and harmful workings will come from it. God has spoken, and this is what happens. I can attest. There is no good that comes from neglecting so high a calling as the one to be an adopted child of God is! For so long, on a continual basis, I did that very thing, to my shame and dismay, and more than all this it stole God's due glory and honor.

But recently, within the last two months, my soul seems to have come alive, to have been revived with the Great Physician's medicines of love, grace, and mercy. O how I have tasted of the deep wells of unending love, and unwavering grace, and unmerited mercy! He has heard my pleas for mercy, for renewal, for revival, and repentance. Granted, all is not yet worked through completely, but its progressing. This cold heart of mine is beginning to come alive again, to soften and take shape as God molds it with His hands.

Just wanna say thank you..

2011-01-24T13:28:00.000-06:00

This thanks goes to God. He is my God, and He knows how the outdoors - and climbing specifically - ministers to me, as a way to be close to him and enjoy all the good things of His wondrous creation.

After a three year hiatus from climbing, due to severe tennis elbow, I called it all but quits. ... Aww cinnamon and gravy! (Ol' Prospector. Anyone?)

But after moving back to the Birmingham area, and after spending several days hiking around the boulder field (MOss Rock Preserve), the itch to at least try the rocks overpowered me.

I have bee climbing again for three weeks or so. Today included. There was one move (see below) that made me feel like I still have it in me, to be decent. May be not good, but at least decent. The move is not technical, its just fun and somehow emphasizes all the subtitles of body control involved in bouldering, more specifically than just climbing.

Grateful for breath and strength to climb again.
And that my elbows work now!

Slightly jaded, a little...

2011-01-18T21:50:00.002-06:00

AMERICA!

I have a qualm to pick with you!

You may have heard this before, even so its time to hear it once again!

there are

no ~~excuses~~

no ~~disguises~~

~~ABSOLUTELY NO JUSTIFICATIONS~~

America, you are a people of over-indulgence, and it is ridiculous!!! I'm sick of it! Literally, I'm almost sick because of it! Where do I begin? Could it be with food? Or "things?" You tell me. O wait, here ... this is the perfect spot!

The TODAY Show (which I don't care for) got me started on this train of thought afresh recently. As the year began, 2 weeks ago, they had a segment about correcting over-corrections. What? What the hell does that mean? Good question. I asked the same thing.

It means for example, you spent a lot of money to have your teeth whitened only to find they are "too" white. What on earth is your poor soul to do to fix those bleached-whites (not quite the same ring as pearly whites, huh?)?

It means for example, you over-tanned your fake tan during the winter months and you need to know how to fix it! O my, what an awful urgent need! [*Spoiler Alert* sarcasm] Note: If you tan at all in the winter months (with exception to 1 or 2 reasons) then you are not only insecure, superficial, & generally wasteful (with your time & money in this case) but also greatly desirous of skin cancer ... in which case may I add dumb to the list. Sorry! And this is coming from one of the whitest/palest people you'll meet ... accept who you are & grow up! Have I alienated you yet? Sorry, but on I go.

BTW, the solution to these "situations" (I will NOT dare call them "problems") is to basically admit that you wasted you money and either 1) negate the whitening by drinking/eating things that will re-stain you teeth OR 2) spend more money (thus again admitting your wastefulness) buying various products to make the fake tan fade ... however you do that. I wouldn't know, nor do I care to!

Thanks TODAY Show for wasting so many peoples' time.

On another show, it was all about corrective plastic surgery, that is having more plastic surgery to fix mistakes from previous plastic surgeries. Now, I know there are some very legitimate needs for corrective plastic surgery (think: lady who had her face ripped off by gorilla) ... I gladly admit that. But what I will not give an inch on is parents who allow the high-school aged kids get a "bump" in their nose "fixed." Another is that people try to get their "original" face back after having lost it to so many unnecessary surgeries in the first place, to make them look this way or that way! This is the epitome of wastefulness and self-indulgence, needless to say over-indulgence!

Further still, there are some appliance companies who - when a refrigerator is returned because it was dented during delivery or some other superficial issue (nothing affecting its overall usefulness or effectiveness) - deliberately avoid the resale of these products and send them straight to a land fill!!! Can you believe that! It is a perfectly good refrigerator and they are throwing them out because of a dent! How dare you?! I know plenty of people who would love to use a dented refrigerator ... hell I would gladly!

Then there are issues like "grass-fed" beef. Honestly, I have no issue with grass fed beef, its my preference. What gets under my skin is that we have found it acceptable in that USA to accept this as a luxury. IT IS NOT A LUXURY! COWS ARE DESIGNED TO DIGEST GRASS ONLY. THEIR STOMACHS CANNOT PROCESS GRAINS (ie: CORN). Its not a luxury because it is the standard. God made animals a certain way, and man had to go and screw with it all. So we gripe and complain and say, "Eat less red meat, its bad for you!" FALSE. Its only unhealthy because we shove an unnatural food (corn) down their throats for quicker production and then are so shocked that red meat is unhealthy! Yet even so, we excuse it and say "O but I love the taste of that marbled, fatty meat. I guess its okay." This I will call apathy and another facet of indulgence.

Grass fed cattle are not only healthy but lean as well. God's design works! So I am just a little pissed that I have to go to Whole Foods - and even there - qualify that I want "grass fed beef." Its as if I go to the counter and say, "Pardon me sir, could I get three filets, but I want it from cows who are fed the only food they are designed to process - grass. You know, like the ones that for centuries upon centuries were they only "type" of cows used for meat produce. That's the kind of beef I want." If anything, we should have to qualify and state," Pardon me sir, could I get three filets that are full of unnatural fats, meat that is entirely marbled, and full of all sorts of unnatural preservatives and hormones that grass fed cattle don't need to stay healthy. Thats what I want for dinner. It sounds delicious."

Despite that I could go on and on, this will be me last rant.

Smokers.

I love yall, and have plenty of friends who are smokers. I hate your nasty and mindless habit, but that in no way means I hate you. On the contrary, I love you and want to see you healthy and happy - not smoking! I simply think you have significant issues (even with the whole addiction thing). My biggest qualm with smokers, is they are deliberately, not only killing their lungs, but themselves! We frown on suicide and say, "O its so selfish." (I apologize if that sounds insensitive, thats not my goal. I am not trying to say anything about any one who has done so.) True that may be, but is not smoking just a slow, slow means of suicide? Extreme comparison? I don't think so. So, when I meet a smoker who has received a lung transplant and still smokes, can you imagine what that does to me?! Before you think you can, you cannot! Sorry. You just cannot know unless you have been where I have been. Thats not a self-righteous pat on the back, its a simple reality.

So. That was pleasant, huh? I am not mad about all this. Does it work me up and get me excited? Hell yeah it does! Why? because we live in the most well-to-do society that has ever existed and we are killing ourselves with our over-indulgence, with our self-absorption. We are killing ourselves with ourselves. Think about it.

One of my friends stated it well saying we all have a huge sense of entitlement.

Jaded.

2011-01-15T21:14:00.001-06:00

To friends, family, or anybody who stumbles upon this meager attempt of a blog ...

If you would, please be praying for an exciting opportunity I have coming up in the several weeks - at least a potential opportunity, I would be so grateful (I am so grateful).

Pray:
- If God wants me there, He would make it clear and make the way.
- If God wants me there, that He would appropriately prepare my heart, mind, and body as needed.
- That I seek His face concerning this opportunity
- For a key verse for memorization that could be a theme for this opp.

Praise :
- That God Almighty finds bodies of dust capable of carrying out His great work among the nations
- That I have the honor of even considering the opportunity before me
- For the Gospel that makes even the most wretched, vile, and despised human being capable of being reconciled to God!!!

Thanks.

Feel free to ask questions, but I may remain vague until its more certain - one way or another.

Just Briefly

2011-01-14T01:52:00.000-06:00

I had a great conversation tonight.

I was reminded of my own short-comings, my inadequacies, and my general lack of value ... that is if I am left to myself.

But, if Christ be in me (whisper voice: and He is) then the weak, the foolish, the ignoble, the low, & the despised parts of me (all of me) are, in the grace poured out in Christ Jesus, made to meet the mark, be fully adequate plus some, and have infinite value, the same as that of Christ ... since Christ has made me a part of Himself.

So, I will declare with Paul and Jeremiah, that my only boast will be in Jesus the Christ, the lamb-like lion and lion-like lamb of God!

Yes please.

2011-01-13T12:59:00.000-06:00

Thanks again to SOG and SAC, I have added another "piece"" to my growing collection.

See below.

- Skinning Blade -

- Bone Saw -

??? Combo ???
Yes

SOG Specialty Knives and Tools is the company that produces the standard issue Navy Seals' knife. Its an awesome knife, if you have an affinity for knives. But, they also make many other knives, all - from my own experience and use with them - of great quality. I just need SOG to make a "loosing proof" knife (see Salute Black Oxide), then I'd be set. Anyway, the above knife, the Fusion Revolver Hunter, is a combo hunting knife, with skinning blade and bone saw. I found it for very cheap at SAC, a website you should probably familiarize yourself with. You should check out the Seal Pup Elite TigerStripe.

You

2011-01-08T22:44:00.000-06:00

This is for you.

As you may have come to realize, all I ever seem to write about is me, myself, & ... what going on with in my soul & heart. Its all about me. Or so it seems. This one is not about me.

Its about you.

Its about how you - and you know who you are - who refresh me with your presence.

I had lunch the other day with a friend who was coming through town to travel for a few days. She mentioned that she was refreshed after hanging out with me ... thats the joy of two dreadfully wretched failures hanging out ... we know how to reveal in the grace of Christ! But as she said that, it hit me. REFRESH. That is the word I have been looking for to describe how I am and how I feel after hanging out with certain people in my life. This friend who I had lunch with, well ... she is a refreshing person with a refreshing spirit about her (Christ in her)! So thanks, if you read this. You know who you are. You are refreshing! CPK was a good choice.

Another friend came through town just a day ago and as always, he leaves me feeling challenged, in need of greater wisdom for life, and super-encouraged! Not too mention how much we laugh and goof off when we hang out. He is like a brother, or IS a brother. I am not sure how to explain it past that. He oozes enthusiasm for Christ and for fulfilling what Christ has called him to ... and he does this wisely, unlike most his age. You are refreshing! Bumper Cars.

Still others, speak truth, ask hard questions, & are honest - and I mean like transparent, take-a-risk honest.

Concerning the risk taker ... I had a conversation with a friend who shared some - I guess - not easy things to share in a matter of days of us knowing each other. We shared lengthy conversation, different life events, life trials, and life learning experiences. Not everyone knows how to share well, but those who do, their honesty will refresh and give life to you. So thanks for sharing with me, things that are not easy to share so shortly into a friendship. It forges that friendship quickly. You are refreshing!

And ultimately, it must be said, that we can refresh each other because Christ has refreshed us, making us new creatures, washing away and casting out the old, and replacing our broken parts with His wholeness! I think this refreshment is something that Christians are especially able to dish out. Why? Well, I presume its because if we have come face-to-face with Christ, in his majesty and holiness, then we have come to see our sin for what it is. A spit in the face of Almighty God. We are then aware of what Christ has done. Lived, died, raised back to life making a relationship with the Father, through faith in His final defeat of sin, possible. Knowing who we are on our own, it makes us (should make us) prone to sharing our depravity more freely ... then enabling us to brag on God and His goodness to take a complete mess as someone like me, and day-by-day break me of myself to make me look more like Himself.

I believe- deeply - that Christ is the only reason you or I or any of us have any refreshing quality to offer to others.

grow.

2011-01-04T22:17:00.001-06:00

Today, now, this year ... this is the time to grow. Its the season to grow, to push roots deep down into the rich soils nearer & nearer the bank of Jordan. Its the time and place to see marked progress. Its - now - for growing.

That is my prayer for this beginning of the year

As I have reflected over 2010, if I had to label it as one of growth or digression, it was a year of digression. A year of watching somethings in my heart, mind and being come undone. An undoing that I totally 'fess up to, to which I completely take responsibility.

That is not too fun to admit. As children of the Most High, we are called to grow, not digress. If we digress, we are responsible. So I am the one to stand condemned. Bad. But thanks be to God through Jesus Christ my Savior, for His blood washes away the past, to rain down new mercies each morn.

Thats not the point.

The point? The point is this...

Now is for Growing

Second Peter 3:18 states,"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." I don't know Greek, but if I had to guess - and I am going to - I would guess that the "grow" in that verse is an imperative, one intended with an on-going connotation (Seminarian-ites, what is that called?), meaning that we are expected to continue in this particular task ... that of growing in grace and in knowledge.

Most authors state that "grace" refers to the whole of religion (in a Christian sense), since all religion is the outworking and result of grace from God. It begins with grace, when God predetermined His affections for the elect before the foundations of the universe were laid, and it ends with grace as God keeps us, perseveres us until the day of Christ or our deaths. Other writers specifically mention the means of grace &/or spiritual gifts. Spurgeon writes to grow in all grace, the "root-grace" he calls faith, in love, in humility, to grow upward closer to God in prayer and in increasing intimacy with Christ as your grow downward (in humility).

Whatever "grace" refers to, we are called to be growing. Not just to grow once, every now & then, or even when we feel like it... but we are called to be growing at all times. Our lives need be marked by daily progress. Thats great. But what the hell does that mean and how do I do that!?!?

The answer.

GRACE in the person JESUS CHRIST.

But knowledge is required, growth in knowledge to be more specific. Again Spurgeon writes, "To know Him is 'eternal life.'" To be growing in an intimate, communion-like fellowship with Christ is so necessary to a life of victory. To a life of growth.

What then shall we say to this?

OH GOD BE MERCIFUL TO ME!!!

BE MINDFUL THAT I AM BUT DUST, DESPERATELY IN NEED OF YOUR GRACE TO STRENGTHEN ME AS TO LIVE IN SUCH A WAY AS TO GROW IN GRACE & IN THE KNOWLEDGE OF MY LORD & SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!!! RENEW ME DAILY THAT I MAY DISPLAY THE GLORY OF YOUR MIGHT FOR YOUR NAMESAKE! BE GRACIOUS TO ME, AID ME TO WAIT FOR YOU, THAT MY STRENGTH BE RENEWED IN YOU, & IN YOU ALONE!

And what is the promise (founded in the character of God)?

It is this ...

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious & very great promises, so that [we] may become partakers of the divine nature."

2 Peter 1:3-4

Any hope we have. All hope we have is rooted in God, and only in God, in the person Jesus Christ. If we are to grow, if this is to be a year of growth then I must set my face hard toward the gale and push on through thick and thicker in pursuit of God, in the grace and in the knowledge of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, knowing and fully trusting that He will be faithful to grant me all that I need that pertains to life and godliness ... and I am certain He will do this, it is for His on glory and excellence.

If I am anything, all I am is Christ.

Thats where I am

O to cling...

2010-12-29T22:58:00.001-06:00

Cling to the Mighty One, cling in thy grief

Cling to the Holy One, He gives relief

Cling to the Gracious One, cling in thy pain

Cling to the Faithful One, He will sustain

Cling to the crucified, Jesus the Lamb who died